Rory and his mind

''I just can't Evangeline, I'm so sorry,'' Rory whispered in pained, hushed tones. He couldn't look at me. His eyes were currently on the cold tiled floor.

''Please, trust me, Rory, please... I'll always be here for you, no matter what. Nothing you could say or do could ever tear me away, I swear. You can try, but I'll be here the whole time. No matter how much you hurt me, no matter what has happened in the past.'' I pleaded, my voice desperate and strained.

'' Line...'' He whined softly. ''Please, I'm begging you, don't make me.''

My heart crumpled like ruined paper at his words. Don't make him? Why does he need to be made to open up? Why can't he trust me?

''Still here Line, and listening,''

''Stop listening then!'' I snapped, snapping because I was hurting so much.

''I can't. I need to know how you're feeling,''

''Hurt! I'm feeling hurt, Rory!'' He flinched at this. Well. He wanted to know. Didn't he always...

And so I made a decision. Some might say I was cruel, but I did what I needed to do. Something was wrong, and if I had to take some actions to help him...Then so be it.

''No! Line don't! '' He cried, reading what I was going to do from my mind.

''Maybe you might understand, Rory, If I did this,''

''We'll still talk, just not with you reading my every inner thought.''

And so I closed my mind, and placed the delicate paper barrier around it, before opening it again.

His face contorted with hurt. And he turned and fled from the processing room.

I curled into a tight ball on the oak bed and cried my heart out. When I emerged, the day had turned to night. I picked myself up, and ventured out of the room for the first time in days.  I was going to be strong. I had to be. Think of Rory I told myself. It would hurt him to see you in such a state. As far as I could see, I was in Ida's house. I went towards the bathroom, and this is when I looked in the mirror for the first time in a week.

I gasped suddenly, and flinched away from my reflection. I was unrecognisable. I stared at it for a few minutes, and gradually calmed my inner panic attack. Ok, so you look a little different. Not unrecognisable. No, definitely not. A few changes here and there. That's all... That's all. Ok, so maybe it was an improvement? Yes perhaps.

I looked once more to the girl in the mirror. Black, dead straight hair cascaded to my hips, where it had previously been shoulder length, chocolate brown with a series of untameable kinks here and there. Ok, so it was straighter and darker! I could throw away my straightner. Hey, I was still tall. I didn't shrink into a pixie or anything. My eyes though. They were still my mother's misty green, but they had this weird shape to them. Like a...like nothing I had seen before. They were very wide, and almost...like a curvy diamond shape. Oh. Well I could get used to them. They weren't unattractive, just a little imposing. My eyelashes were thick and dark, thicker than any mascara model you have ever seen. Well there goes the mascara, no need for that anymore. They did look sexy, I'll admit. But what would everyone think? Oh Rory would laugh if he could hear me - ''Such a girl thing to worry about ,'' he'd say, chuckling his little laugh along with it. I felt my new eyes well up with fat droplets of salty water. Shame my ''process'' didn't disable that function.

Okay, concentrate. What else has changed? I locked the door and slipped out of my clothes. I needed to shower anyway, god. Yeah. A week? Disgusting. Goodness processing is a time consuming business. That and discovering the history behind your destiny. You know. I looked down and I couldn't see any changes. Maybe, I was a little sleeker, little bit more toned, but nothing major.

I climbed into the shower, and I was just turning up the heat when I felt this intense, stabbing pain in my mind. I held onto the door of the shower, weakened with the pain. Hot, burning, stabs, pushing my delicate protection around my mind... and then it stopped, as suddenly as it had started. You may think it would have been the easier option, you know, to just let my barrier down, but I couldn't. Something in my brain told me, that let your consciousness go unprotected- and you'll regret it. I thought perhaps it had been Rory. Maybe, he needed to get through to me. Maybe, he didn't realise the pain that would come with attacking my paper wall.

 

The End

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