Love Thought Lost

Just a lil' something i wrote a while back and thought i might post up here... haha critics be nice please!

Everyday I live in rememberance of you, yet seemingly for every thought of beauty I direct your way I am given scorn as a retort. I spend my hours trying to sow up my old scars and injuries, but everytime I hear your name or see your face the stitches wither away leaving an open wound once more. Acceptance on your part is out of the question, lying to you and myself I'm uncapable of, so what is left? I live my life in order to try and maintain respect you and others I deeply care for, but what returned love or caring do I have in return? It is not that I wish only for myself, this is not a trade off, but everyone needs something... am I to live off of contentment that what i do is helpful without affection directed towards myself? Give me an answer that I have not already thought of and rejected... I'm tired of not having the people I give myself too act as thieves. I'm tired of one-sided deals in relationships and friendships, I need love... Why is it so hard to sacrifice even a small portion of what you have to one whos willing to give all?

I hope life turns out well for you, I honestly hope you find someone whos worthier of your trust that you can learn to love in the fullest... Forgive me for believing I might suffice. And although you scorn and despise me now, remember that I'm always here to give a shoulder and a smile to you. I can not stop loving you... I can not bring myself to give up on Hope... And despite your animosity I hope to god that you will be able to understand that and learn to accept it as being a part of me even if you never can be content with it. I forgave any pain you caused me long ago, i hope you can forgive me too as time passes by... goodnight...

The End

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