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...He was goning to spain he was packing his suitcase. There was a knock at the door his mam went to answer it... There standing at the door was this lovely girl with blonde hair she was called sally. Sally said " can i see sam please" sams mam shouted "SAM!!!"...... Sam came downstairs " hi" said sally "hey" sam said to sally "i am goning on holiday today" sam softly said "where to " whisperd sally "spain" said sam. Sally was goning to spain as well today and they were goning on the same plane and they were goning on in the same hotal as each other. "i got to go" sally said "ok" said sam "see ya there sam " sally whisperd. So sam went upstairs to carry on packing 10 mins later sam had finshed packing. He and his family went to the airport sam saw sally at the airport and sally saw sam as well. 1 hour later sam and his family go onto the plane and sally got on with her family as well it took 4 hours to get to there and 12 mins to get to the hotal ...........
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excerpt from through the looking glass by
thedarkpassenger










However, I encourage Jait to reply to his own branch. Or someone else. Allie, where are you in all this?
Re: aspidistra (I had to look up the word)
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: an Asian plant (Aspidistra elatior) of the lily family that has large pointed basal leaves and is often grown as a foliage plant
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Polishing? Lawl... nice."
ah well, I shall have to console myself with reading this fun story :)"
"Te amo." she whispered, "Usted es mi todo. Usted es mi querido. Te amo. Te amo."
Care to give us a translation?"
sorry ;)"
Great start to something big. You seem to have a knack for good ideas here, but you still have some work to do.
We all started there too, though, so don't get deflated about it. Things take time to accomplish properly and you or anyone, really needs to look over anything you write and say, is this correct. Am I seeing issues somewhere here?
You'll be able to see problems with structure if you read it allowed to yourself the way its written now. If you find yourself putting breaks in between a sentence, you should probably put a period there, and if you find yourself taking a breath before starting a new sentence its probably a new paragraph.
Granted this isn't a perfect practise, but its a good way to get started. The best way too is to take anyone's opinions and also see where they might put periods or commas, or a new paragraph. Generally when you see a pattern in what they're doing you'll pick up on it.
Doing great though so far, I like your ideas, just keep working at it and read everything over to yourself. You'll see what I mean!"
I have a better way to deal with mid-story deletions in-mind for down the road, but it's not quite ready to go live on the site yet. Apologies for the heavy-handedness for the time being."
If you're using Firefox, there should be a built-in spellcheck... if you're using Internet Explorer, you can just hit the spellcheck button on the text editor's toolbar.
Thanks for contributing!"