God, I'm going to hit so many sensitive subjects with this story xD
I woke up, my fingers lightly gripping the sheets of my bed as I panted lightly. I don't normally have nightmares, unless I'm stressed out or if I feel guilty. Which is normal, as far as what I've learned in AP Psychology. I'm going to skip that subject before I find myself questioning whether or not I have ADHD.
Oh well, why not? You see, I've been interested in psychology since the seventh grade, so I'll often question whether or not I have a mental illness. I make sure to refrain from using the term 'disorder', since my teacher tells the class often that doing so makes the patient feel like the illness is permanent and stuck into his or her genes, and let's face it, makes you feel different.
Speaking of different, my nightmare. This nightmare actually started as a nice dream, seeing a cute boy that I've never seen- correction, its impossible to see a person you've never seen in a dream. Anyways, I saw a cute boy, that I've apparently been dating for a long time now. He approached me and stared deep into my eyes until our lips met. It's weird, being able to feel things like that in dreams. Well, then my mother walked in. That's when I woke up, in horror.
You see, I'm a boy. Yes, everyone has the occasional dream of having a romantic occurrence with someone of the same gender but I am, in fact, gay. No one knows, and I don't want anyone to know. Not that my family or I are against it... It's a bit more complicated.
I know that if I told, especially now, after telling everyone I like girls, that I'd look like a coward. My parents, I know they'd still love me just as much as before but them and society, they'd look at me differently, filing me under basic stereotypes. I hear at my church that being gay is a choice. I wish they were right, I'd change if I could. I mean, I probably wouldn't, but I'm having one of those moments when I wish I could.
At least I'm not one of those homophobic douches who hide who they are and take it out on others. I'm not a complete coward. Still though, this pain feels worse than anything I've ever experienced. I know that not all churches are homophobic but I sure got a rarity.
Anyways, I got myself out of bed, trudging through the hall and opened the bathroom door, the sound of creaking filling the silence of the house. I yawned and looked around, the porcelain bathtub with tan curtains straight ahead. Just in front of the bathtub, on the left side, sits the toilet followed by the sink which was covered in women's make up, mascara, eye liner, lipstick, blush, all belonging to my sister and mother were spread in a messy manner around the counter of the sink along with a flat iron and hair dryer that even I, admittedly, occasionally use. Clothes were also strung along the floors, all three of us being the culprits of that mess.
I sighed and stood, facing the sink and staring at the squared mirror that revealed my reflection. I was a teenage boy with an even more youthful face, having pale skin and freckles that lightly dotted his nose. My hair being a dirty blonde and eyes being a sparkly sea green. My lips were a bright red like the shade of an elegant lipstick. Oh how I remember the teasing in grade school and how everyone said I wore make up due to my bright lips and longer eyelashes.
After spending fifteen minutes brushing my mid length, messy air and another twenty adjusting it right with my hands, I stepped into the living room. I decided to take a walk, like I usually did, not bothering to change my black Nirvana T shirt and dark grey jeans. I slipped on my leather converse and opened the front door wide, the bright light of the sun hitting my eyes and causing me to squint. I took a few seconds for my eyes to adjust to reveal the human shaped figure in front of me.
Standing there was a taller boy, about six foot two with dark red, obviously dyed hair that was a bit longer than mine but still would be typically seen on a man. His skin was as pale as mine and he wore a red jacket that fit him well on his thin but toned build along with black slim jeans.