Enter the only entrance to the caveMature

Tyrone put on a brave face, which looked more constipated than anything, and power walked into the cave.
It was pitch black and Tyrone couldn't see a fucking thing.

"Fuck, I wish I had brought a torch!" he said.
"You fucking idiot!" said a voice, "I told you you were going to a fucking cave, what kind of moron doesn't take a torch to a cave?"

Tyrone looked up and saw the ghost of Elmer Palmer.

"Holy fuck! I never knew you were dead!" said Tyrone in disbelief.
"I'm not, you fucking cretin! I'm a motherfucking hologram!"

Elmer Palmer suddenly disappeared and motherfucking R2D2 wheeled out of the darkness, gave Tyrone a torch and said "beep, bap, biddly, bip, bip, bippity, boo!" which, as you know, translates into "Mach punch me and you're fucking toast, boyo!"
Then R2D2 wheeled the fuck out of there.

Tyrone, now equipped with what all people going into a cave would take if they had half a braincell, ventured further into the cave.
He came across a sign:

LAZARUS SPONGE BATH
Open 9am - 5pm Mon-Fri
Close weekends due to lazy bastards not wanting to work.

Tyrone, wondering why this lazarus thing kept changing guise, went the fuck further into the cave.
Then he head a voice:

"I AM KING OF VAMPIREKIND!"

It was:

The End

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