what next?

So I decided to go to a restaurant.

Very swish, very elegant, with soft lighting and black & white check tablecloths. I had lunch with Gary Kasparov, the chess champion. It took him 2 hours to pass the salt.

I ordered the whole meal in French. The waiter wasn't impressed, though, it was a Chinese restaurant.

I said to the waiter, 'Oi, you!' He said 'How you know my name?'

I  was perusing the menu and asked the waiter 'What do you recommend?' He said ' The Beefeater down the road'.

So the waiter comes with my order and he's got his hand covering my chicken. I said 'What are doing, man? Your hand's on my meat!' He said 'What? You want it to fall on the floor again?'

So I asked for ice-cream for dessert. The waiter asks, 'Knickerbocker Glory?' I said 'Well, I do get a certain amount of freedom in these trousers, yes.'

He said ' You want crushed nuts?' I said 'You want a broken nose?'

I paid the bill and the waiter asked 'How about a tip?' I said 'Don't eat yellow snow'.

As we were leaving I handed the waiter my salt and pepper pots and said 'My condiments to the chef".

He told me the duck was off and we had to leave.... but where....?

The End

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