So I became an Airline pilot.
I was so bad even the terrorists wouldn't fly with me.
Before my flights, the Airline would put up signs saying 'Your kids will love our inflatable slides' , 'Complmentay champagne during free fall', 'Ask about our out of court settlement program' and 'All our staff are experienced in counselling'.
My boss asked me if I had a death wish, I said no, when I die I would like to die like my father, peacefully in his sleep, not screaming, terrifed like his passengers.
It got so bad they decided to send me to a shrink....