Staring into the deep blue eyes of the painting, your lips move to form the name "Elvin". After two more seconds of bliss, you are terribly shocked to find that not only are you watching the painting, but the painting is watching you.
You scream and jump back, as the portrait bellows, "ELVIN! WHAT KIND OF A NINNY-SHINNED NAME IS THAT!?"
You cower in the corner, shaking in terror. "It.. it was my brother's name..."
The portrait laughs heartily, takes a swig of the lager, and speaks. "The name's McUbbthroat. Lord McUbbthroat," he says, in a bad James Bond impersonation. "What is your business here?"
"I was looking for the witch," you say, a bit weirded out by this Lord McUbbthroat.
"Well! You should have said so earlier!" He swings open to reveal a tunnel that leads to an unseen room.