He had fallen asleep in the chair next to the bed he, had been reading. I sat up in the bed and began to think about how much he must really love me. He had been here for over 5 yrs, which may not seem like much but when you have to put up with someone else's shit it can be. I know when he got involved with me he didn't know what he was getting into. I would always tell him that he picked the women with the most emotional baggage that he could find. I didn't trust him, I couldn't, I had been hurt too many times to know how far I could throw him. I couldn't let him in; that was one of the hardest things to do. When you have been doing everything on your own with no help how do you let someone in? The days where I would push him away were the worst. The pain that I had put him through, to help him from loving me. I was hard on him. I always told him that he shouldn't love me, I bring out the worst in people. He would always smile and say well you bring out the best in me.
I got up out of bed and have him come to bed, " Thank you for being here even when I didn't want you to be."
"I will always want to be here."