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Looking Back

I remember...

 

Throwing a Frisbee around on the beach when I was two, sunshine reflecting blindingly off the ocean; I was so good people stopped to watch me in fluid motion.

 

Do I really remember this or have I just been told about it so often by my parents that it feels like a real memory?

 

I think I was two, definitely less than three - before I turned three we moved away and the pull of the beach no longer held sway.

 

I remember...

 

Having a terrible, vivid dream of being in a car crash while visiting my mother's family in Jamaica when I was five. The car ended up on its roof but we all made it out alive.

 

I thought it had actually happened until I asked my parents about it in grade nine, the year I really started to learn. There was no accident, they told me, no broken glass, no car overturned. They looked at me with such concern.

 

I remember...

 

Placing my right foot into my little sneaker when I was seven, not seeing the bee awaiting the arrival of my big toe. I cried when it stung me, cried like I would never stop, oh how the tears did flow!

 

After that I couldn't put either foot into the dark confines of a shoe without first inspecting it for lurking bees. A severe fear of being stung whenever I heard buzzing would bring me to my knees.

 

I remember...

 

On my ninth birthday -

 

"Open your eyes."

 

I do as I'm told, I do not complain. But it's too hard to remember while staring down the barrel of a gun, so I close my eyes again.

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