I hope someday you read this, Christmas. I wish you knew how much I love you, and how much I miss you.
They say when we cross paths, we will someday have to say goodbye. It is because we are walking in opposite directions we meet, and because of the same, we must part.
I remember her shining face on that platform at the train station. She stood on the bench, flailing her arms at me, her bright smile ever so bright, as I walked away. As we walked away. We moved forward on our paths, we said goodbye. Our last goodbye. I never even knew I would never see her again. She had warned me, she would be transferring after the trip, I just never knew it then, that she would disappear from me forever. If only I did...I still have so much to say to you after all those days and sleepless nights...I would have said them, if only I knew...
It’s been months since we both left from that platform into the crowds and smoke of train wheels. It’s been so many months without you. I wish you could see me now. How those few months have changed me. I wonder now if you'd still notice me, if you'd recognize me with this resolve I’ve built, with this new courage you helped light in me, I wonder if we could still sit for hours talking about ourselves, on the balcony outside the hotel rooms, the cold Kerala wind blowing on our faces, drinking bottles of flat warm coke, dancing to beats that were playing so soft only our bodies could hear them...well...you did all the dancing, I just sat and watched, too afraid to move. If you had said you’d stay if I did, I’d have danced to a thousand songs.
I can say now, that I am strong. I can say it with more gusto than I have for years. And I wish you would read this. I wish you would hear me, for this is for you, my little railway child, so free spirited and strong hearted. Unlike the stony rocks beaten by the relentless waves, you never crumbled. Unlike the mountains that dissipate into sands as time wore them down; you held your ground against the reign of hail and fire that surrounded you, like a worrier, a fearie spirit, dancing in the sunlight, when it lit your face, like a flaming phoenix.
My free little railway child, if I could see you now, I wonder if I would recognize you, if the fire in your heart still burns with that fever and freedom it did those many days past, if your face still shines with that brilliant light, dazzling and mesmerizing as that of a thousand stars.
My sweet little Railway girl, if I could see you once more, and tell you how I feel, if I could only speak another word to you, I would make it last forever. If it was just for a minute, Id makes it the most memorable ever.
But our paths have crossed, our time seems to have slipped away, and I never got to finish my piece. To thank you for your company, our sweet voice and your everlasting memory, for the countless dreams you've visited me in, for the millions of little laughs you have given me. And though these words cannot fathom the way I feel about you, like Christmas in spring, I hope that my love will travel through the endless sky, and touch you, where ever that may be.
My sweet little Christmas tree, and dear little railway child, may your spirit never break, and be forever free.