THE KIDNAP 21_________________



for reasons that could be Articulated and others that are not apparently possible to articulate to the right thinking observer, Lucy's love and Alice Blondine had in fact been in the same building  for the past three weeks.


Alice looks a bit like Katia did from one side at least, same style, same hair really Johan thinks. Maybe that set her off. A bit like Katia. Katia, Katia, who let me drink champagne the pink kind out of her collarbone one night. Man I’ve lived. he feels himself empty his bowels in his jeans.


There are four rooms. She didn’t know Johan Ahmadi was there at first, until she heard him shout out one night. There is one room that is never opened.

Now they are tied to a radiator, the paint is school uniform green. The paint is peeling off the metal.



Johan Ahmadi, is a sculptor and a player. He repeats this in his head, then a song then I am a player, I am a player but a sculptor. Once his work was so popular that a bank offered to pay him thirty thousand pounds for a miniature sculpture of Manchester. That was before the banks went bust. He is very tall. They tied him first, he made the most noise.


Dr , said the first masked person. Is that a Moroccan accent Alice thinks. Dr Ahmadi , as long as they pay us what we ask then you will be free to go.


Keeping his voice what he hoped to be light, Dr Ahmadi, asked the two men, ‘ please can you untie us, the young lady is in pain’.?


The Moroccan man laughed. He throws some scraps of food at the pair, the leftovers of a Big Mac. As they are tied they cannot eat the food. Alice continues to shiver.


Alice, is the cut on my face still the same? ‘


Alice cannot reply straight away, she moves around and stares. Should she tell him, the puss on his face is turning a little green. No, maybe there is no point to that.


They shuffle in the darkness. They watch as the Johan comes up. Sparrows start to sing, a beautiful sound outside. Johan wonders if they will be get out. Toots knows that the police will find them, they have to.


Lets play a game, wake up Alice. Wake up. Alice, normally fairly chatty, some might say loud was quiet. Come on Alice.




‘’Bonano Aguri, Flethices Annuneyes Neouvo. ‘’




Banana, spaghetti. A new annual?


Happy New Year, (Italian); Happy New Year (Spanish)



To chornee. Amin bashee.


‘Um, I am a Geordie, I’ll bash yee?  




How are you ( Kurdish), I am doing well. I LEARNT THAT OFF MY EX.


‘’How long will we be in here Alice?


….’Her left wrist is hurting now. The rope is digging in and she needs a wee.

I’ve never been on my own this long before. I’m glad they brought you in here.

At least I might’ve lost some weight I reckon my friend.’


‘I don’t know how much more I can take of this, i didn’t fucking ask for this. jesus help me i didn’t ask for this. ‘



Alice is usually loud, maybe a little bit thick and maybe really clever actually as she is full of herself. She teases boys and gets away with it.


I didn’t tell you before did I about who I am actually married to. It’s Jay Seany  Seany, your distant cousin.


He kept telling me that India is a land of contradictions – while approximately half of its people are illiterate, the country houses the world’s second largest pool of trained scientists and engineers. With a grin he’d say that, as if the time had come to take what we wanted.


J struggles more, that Alice, why were you spreading rumours about me?


I swear I did no such thing, no such thing.


Alice starts to cry, I think we are hear because of Jay Seany, we were supposed to do something and we didn’t there is no other explanation. I’m sorry, I feel like I’m not here, not in control, actions seem to run away from me, even though I’m tied up waiting to die. What did we do to deserve this I will try to wiggle free.


She shuts up as their captor comes into the room.



What sweets do you like Alice? She now stinks of piss. Sweets wise. I like Cherries. Red and green Jelly sweets. Fake perfumed to smell like cherries. The only thing that spoils my enjoyment is that I know they might, well they are made from gelatin. I think that that is hooves. Cows and Pigs.


But I do like those sweets.


This is not to say that other sweets are not capable of making me insatiable as well.

Fizzy space ships. Paper Mache with sherbet inside. Cola bottles with really tangy fizz on them. Smarties. Smarties, he would leave me under my pillow when we first met. I would go to his room, with the tartan blanket and the electric fire. He had obviously tied up. He would make me a cup of coffee in his not matching student mugs and I would eat smarties. Crunching them or sucking them softly.


We would also eat chips from the papers into hat house. Red sauce he would call tomato ketchup. Do you want red sauce ?

I would have been working out before I went around there. On the sunbed so I was berry brown. my hair dyed an even darker shade of black. blue black. i would put on either pvc trousers or a see through top.


so back to the chocolate.


Lindt. Milky chocolate, soft in the middle and not so sweet that it’s too much.

Coconut balls with white chocolate. Those red foiled lindt balls with the slimy insides. Trinny, the thin one from TRinny and Susannah has one every night before she goes to bed apparently.



I could eat a cake in a flash. If I was hungry I could eat a whole birthday cake. Or twelve Crispy Crème doughnuts.

Once I remember, there were strawberry doughnuts. Pink icing, tasting vaguely strawberry. Tanned doughnut dough, no hole in that one.

Chocolate icing on some ones, with chocolate sprinkles too.

Plain ones. What could only be American ones, with gooey sugared apple inside.

Coconut cake. Whiter than white almost marshmallow icing, mixed with desiccated coconut. Sponge, a little dry. Red Jam sandwiching the two.

I ate all of that cake myself, in a car. On my own in a lay by. the girl recalls.


Savory Food? The next question.


Ok JJ savory food…


Well, as I sit here now, a cheese and onion pasty from Greggs would be nice. Just warm. I think they bind together the ingredients with potato, but it seems a little sloppy, sort of like fake mash. Remember Smash?


No what is Smash’, Johan says.


‘ Oh I forgot you grew up in India, lucky shit,  in that school you said.


It was a kind of well-dried potato.


Sounds healthy’


‘Well you had to pour boiling water into the crumbly dehydrated potato and then mix it up. You could then, put loads of butter on it. Butter, a bit of salt, pepper. If you were lucky then cheese, preferably full fat red Leicester. sometimes, when I was studying I’d eat that for my main meal, with salad cream ……………………..or ketchup, sometimes-brown sauce.  Voice tails off now ,pain is too much.


When I was a student, I exercised a lot. I ate a lot of Junk too. Six packs of Walkers. cheese AND onion, ready salted AND salt AND vinegar, peculiarly British crisps. Sometimes there would be competitions to win say 10 pounds if you found a lucky packet, I never did.


The chip shop near my house, I would stay in bed till about one, then get ready and walk down to get a bag of chips. We were so poor. My boyfriend and me sometimes couldn’t afford to buy a drink. Old men at the bingo at the local pub would buy us a drink. A pint for him and a half of sweet cider for me.

But i didn’t care because i was free, alhtough it was a hard life. always cold. Cold and chilly in damp houses, one house had slugs. Not much to get nostalgic about J.


What other things did you eat Alice?’


she is nourished by the thought of the food sustaining her in the dark, cold building.


Well when I was young I ate meat. Steaks, I would eat them so fast. Sausages with garlic butter. Lamb chops in German and French restaurants. With so many potatoes, vegetables and things like cauliflower cheese.


My mum would cook stews with dumplings. Yorkshire puddings. Roast Beef. GRAVY. Lamb. Pork with scratching. Beef en route, pate surrounding the beef. Roast potatoes so nice they would make you drool.


They both drooled a little.


Indian food is the best though J, do you like it as I guess you would?


‘ Like it I cook a mean lamb curry. My mum taught me


Maybe this isn’t helping us much J you’re my sunshine, she cannot stay still anymore she fidgets and fights and screams. No one arrives. The fuckers are out says Sun, THE Suckers have left us here to die I RECKON.



I could always cook mushroom stroganoff, you boil the wild rice up. Meanwhile, fry three kinds of mushrooms. Paprika and red peppers. When those are cooked spoon some single cream in and voila there is the sauce.


Cakes I can bake well. Three tiered ones, single sandwich ones. Orange, lemon, chocolate. Icing. I could eat them all.


In restaurants what is your favourite Alice?


For years I was a veggie, I would only eat say, a vegetarian pizza.


‘Thrilling’ , he smiled in his boyish way that in other circumstances could have made her feel a lot better, Just probably not in these circumstances.


‘Or maybe later on, deep friend bean curd, with sweet and sour sauce. Boiled Jasmine rice that sticks together. Bean Curd with ginger and spring onion, a sort of brawny sauce.

‘ Get the impression you like bean curd’.


Yeah…. Johan tell me about your food.


Well, my grandmother would make white fish and fillet it all up. They eat a lot of fish down there on the coast you know. We’d eat that with so many vegetables. Or my favourite a type of salad. Noodles that is hot, with raw cucumber. A sort of soupy salad. My girlfriend makes it, she’s from India originally I wonder how much they know.

My sculptures are important to me too. They are so different from he corporate world.


What sculptures have you done?


before he can tell her about this, alice confesses.


i’m sorry i was sent to find information about you.


‘ from who?


‘ What does it matter now, they could be recording this J,’


‘ I want to know, this could be the end.’


She wails. I’m sorry, I’m sorry Didn’t mean that we might still get out.


J, it was a business, me and Seany, we Just locate people that is all there is no way this can be to do with all that, we have located tens of people over the last few years, it is all above board I swear.


You are naïve Alice, very naïve indeed.


‘ I want to produce more sculptures, I Just want to get back to my life, with my girlfriend .


I want a dog called Felix

‘Felix, who calls a dog Felix?”  she does not have the strength to even half smile.

‘ same type who calls a dog Kitty. ‘

The moon had been shining in, when Johan noticed how very little she was. Her reindeer cardigan was blood stained and her fair hair filthy with dirt. The moonlight really illuminated the room. It seemed as if maybe they were alone, safe. He started to cry. Is it worse to be alone, waiting to die alone, chained to a radiator. They would starve. Or should the pair come back, what would happen now, would they kill them. Would they torture them. What the fuck do they want.

No one had come into the room for some time. They had no watch so couldn’t tell how long it had been. Maybe if they have Just left us here we can wriggle free, somehow, but I’m tied tight. Double knots. Then Johan hears laughter and does not know  which one it was. Both hearts are beating so fast and loud they could explode. After another hour or so, they calm down. There is no way out. Nothing happens for what feels like a day. They throw water into the room. And laugh. They stuff bread into Alice’s peachy cheeks. She nearly gags. She shivers, does not dare say a thing.  What about me you fucker. Predictably Johan s kicked hard in the head more than once. Blood pours from the already infected cut.


‘shut up the voice says shut up .


‘don’t CRY Alice, SAYS sun. Tell me about your favorite things.


Stop crying Alice. Please?


‘ Ok, well, the tears stop her from talking, well.


Eventually she speaks. Well, clothes. I like Ugg boots. A friend of mine had orange peach uggs boots. My best friend had cotton, white cotton Ugg boots.


The thought of her friend causes her to gag and sob more.

And flip-flops in summer, gladiator sandals. All Saints. All Saints t-shirts with skulls and stuff on them. Don’t seem so funny now she thinks but doesn’t say anything. All Saints Jewellery I have a green necklace with many crosses.

All Saints boots, I’ve got a nude leather pair, high heels open toed and motorcycle boots. Set you back about 180 quid.


In winter earmuffs, cream knee high boots with little pom poms on the backs. Cream tights sometimes with miniskirts. I have owned quite a few mini skirts.

Red short dresses from Kookai, white sparkly sequin shoes.

Maxi dresses on the beach, so many bikinis.


My Jewellery too.


Johan was asleep now but she wanted to tell someone.


I had a heart shaped necklace, an antique locket in the shape of a heart. It was made with white and blue antique gold.

I had a gold cross with a small ruby in the centre.

I had a green emerald ring with four stones that he bought me, there were so many other cheap things.


Plastic sixties Jewellery, peach disc bracelets. White round plastic balls fashioned into a necklace. Once I had a flashing plastic ring with a light inside it. Did I tell you there was al light inside it.

Snobs nightclub 1996, I remember wearing it then.


Vicky Martin, Lycra dresses and cat suits, favored by some holy oaks types.


coast DRESSES. prom dresses. I had an interview in one red cotton Coast dress and I was so scared I could never wear it again, even though it cost eighty quid. For a moment she forgets that she is where she is but only for that moment.

Sun’s work is done.

The Wiley artist knew he could help her be free if only for a few moments. He had achieved that at least perhaps.


Sometimes he wakes an Alice is no longer there, they have sedated him.

Nahī lagatā surindara kabhī gandagī hamē shits kī Jōī kē bārē mē āpa kara sakatē haiṁ the man said


It means don't think Jay Seany can ever mess us about you  pair of shits





















The End

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