Agony of the Agnostic. A Linear Love Story.
I cleared my desk and found the envelope under the pile. I was not looking for it. I just found it. Maybe.
I was supposed to read it first thing in the morning. She had said, "Everything is there." Everything that she found difficult to talk to me.
Being the eternal cynic that I was, I had already saw her red trolley bag rolling through the corridor and down the steps onto the road into a waiting cab and disappearing after her. Funny, I saw myself waving at her.
I kept turning the envelope between my fingers. It was addressed 'To You'. When God made her, he also might have showed her the straight line she would have to travel to reach the end of her life. Strict, catholic parentage. Convent education. Abstinence from premarital sex and an arranged marriage. Only God didn't knew this was an enlightened earth shaped like an oblate spheroid and even if you squint hard enough the road disappears at the horizon.
I seemed to be the first mistake that happened in her life. I shook her little world: a world of Gods, ghosts, good, evil and piety. But she stood strong. And now if she has to move on I cannot be there in that world of mere mortals. Now I was scared. I was a lot confused myself. And yes, I need her.
I left my cubicle and went down.
As I sat at the coffee shop, I saw that the place was implausibly empty. Maybe this was a sign. She might have already left the house. Or not. Maybe I should read the envelope now. I opened it and started reading:
"I thought a lot about it. And I decided: to each his own"
Now, if this means that each person is entitled to his/her own belief and since ours was at loggerheads with each other, e should go on our separate ways.
But does it also means that each person is entitled to his/her own belief and so let us learn to live with these differences?
Now if she lived in a one dimensional world, and her life is a straight line, she would not be there at the house when I come back. That sucks.
But then...oh, but then, even if it is a straight line, and if the straight line traverse the earth it will meet itself which might prove that she might not be a flatlander after all. Which in turn means she hasn't left the house. And me.Which is good!
To make doubly sure, I went back to the story and capitalized all the initial Gs. A little fear of God can come in handy after all.