His hand shaking, he fumbled the key into the lock and coaxed the drawer open, finding, as he knew he would, his wife's diaries. Until the recent rash of tormenting calls, he never would have violated her privacy, but began to read, starting with the most recent journal. His wife's bitterness toward him was palpable in the room as he read. "He doesn't deserve me. But I swore an oath till death do us part, and the one I should be with cannot be mine."