You look away. You’ve never been completely open to him about your feelings. If he didn’t feel the same, you wouldn’t just lose a lover; you’d lose your best friend. You knew you could never be ‘just friends’ though, there is just too much history. But it wasn’t your choice to decide this. Maybe he’d actually agree with you though. Looking at the situation, he should. You both see each other every week, text when you’ve got a spare moment, always invite each other over to the others flat and end up sleeping there. After being friends for nearly 6 years, you’ve even met his family. You have even hung out with his family when he’s been away. Parents don’t tend to willingly ask their child’s friend to hang out if they didn’t approve of them. Or try and drop hints.
You realise there is no go back now. You’ve planted the seed and there is nothing to stop it growing now.
“Look. This past year has been an odd one. I never thought you’d tell me you liked me, let alone say you love me. But I can’t be in this limbo anymore. I’m not like you. I need to know what ‘we’ are and what we’re doing. I know you don’t want to label this, but we are practically in a relationship; we have been for some time now. We see each other every time we have free time, we are both very protective over one another; we love each other and we don’t want anybody else. That to me sounds like a committed relationship. You yourself have said we are more than friends-with-benefits, because we can’t be with anyone else whilst this is happening, but it’s not a relationship because it’s not official and we haven’t told anyone what’s been going on between us. I want to be able to call you my boyfriend. I don’t want all this secrecy. I’m not even asking to tell everyone; we don’t. I just need to know, for my own sake.” You sigh. The realisation of how long you’ve been keeping that hidden for dawns on you. A smile starts to form on your lips. Maybe finally things could work in your favour. Just this once.