I, Lauren Starkey, am going into my final year of schooling and I still can't even be up on time to get the bus. What is that all about? This year, everything is going to change. I am going to become a super organised student, ready for when I step into the adult world. And I won't get distracted by certain boys. Nope. No way.
How does the human body even work?
I went to bed at ten last night, so that I would be all ready to wake up with my alarm at half six (why do I even set it that early? It's not natural) and what happened? I didn't even hear it. I snoozed the alarm in my sleep and then it was ten past seven and I had half an hour to get ready. I literally ran out of the house still putting on my jacket, shoving things in my bag and eating toast, all at once.
It's like extreme multi tasking. It'll catch on and soon every adreneline junkie will be jumping off cliffs while eating cereal and putting make up on.
And then there'll be the more pathetic Olympic style multi taskers who do it while running 400 metres or jumping over hurdles and stuff and everyone will think they're a bit lame, but when they meet one of the Olympic multi taskers they'll pretend to be really impressed but will also slip sneaky references to extreme multi taskers that they know and the Olympic ones will feel dejected and like they're not taken seriously and then they'll throw a tantrum and strike and the government will give them extra funding and everyone will moan and hate the government and there'll be revolution and it'll be all my fault.
Erm...yes, so I missed the bus, and public buses are useless and ours only come every half an hour so I then had to power walk up the hill (which is a mile to school) and when I got to form I was all red faced and then Mr Morton let me sit down for like ten minutes and then was like 'Oh! Lauren! Didn't I tell you? You've got a prefects meeting!"
Prefects meeting, I ask you. What is this, Hogwarts?
So then I had to go and find where I was meant to be and the door was at the front of the classroom so I couldn't even sneak in, and the Head Girl, Helen said all sarkily "Oh, Lauren, so glad you could make it."
I sat next to Joe. I like Joe, even though he's quiet, but he looks ILL. He looks like a vampire or a drug addict or something. I hope he's not, he's the best one out of his group of stupid friends and it would really out me off talking to him if he's a drug addict.
My timetable's ok. I have loads of early finishes, but I also have double biology on Friday. Who came up with that? And double french first thing on a monday. HELL ON EARTH.
Why does the term start on a Wednesday? It really bugs me.
When I went to biology today, Mrs Stewart decided that we needed to get to know each other (like we don't already know everyone- there's only about a thousand students in the whole school, and that covers four years...god I hate living in a little village) and put us in a seating plan. A SEATING PLAN. FOR YEAR 13s!!!
Whaaaat? Anyway, she put me next to Samuel Aire-Lynch, AKA Sam, AKA Abby's ex-boyfriend, AKA twat.
Oh, and he also happens to be my stalker's best friend. They've got a bit of a bromance going on if you ask me. And he's one of Joe's friend too. It's this weird overlapping web of intrigue. But not.
And the first thing Sam wants to know is if Callum's asked me out yet. No 'How was your summer'. No 'How are you?' Not even a freaking hello!
If this is how the rest of my year is going to be, I may as well just quit now while I'm ahead.