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...knew so well, only leaving when he warned her that his girlfriend was now outside.
she went away and smoked and drank and laughed to counter-act the worry and the pain of his rejection.
when later she saw that he was still alone, she went to him again, this time whispering that she didn't want to leave him when he begged her to go. but leave him she did, feeling cold and hurt. why won't he talk to me? what have i done? he used to tell me everything, but i can't reach him anymore.
fear and a sense of loss brought hot tears to her cheeks and she wiped them away angrily, furious with herself for giving in to such weakness.
i love him, she thought desperately. what has he done?
he can forget me if he wants. if it makes him happy then i don't care if it kills me. i owe him my life, and i would rather die than cause him pain.

love and death are closer than anyone expects. she knows this better than most.

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