To Spaceman Spiff Cereals (R) SugarBombs Division:

Reminiscing about my childhood days spent reading 'Calvin and Hobbes', I purchased your cereal blatantly marketed with this appeal. I am overwhelmingly impressed by your cereal.

I was particularly surprised that your machines have found a way to vacuum seal the cereal while putting even more air pressure into the bag itself. This was most impressive, but I must admit the bag was difficult to open. I did end up having the cereal in my tummy that morning, but not the way I would have preferred.

You will find attached photos of the damage your SugarBombs are wont to do when opening a highly-pressurized 'adamantine' bag filled with them, as well as a bill for the hospital costs, physical therapy that is presently commencing, and psychological counseling I will be looking into.

Also, I would like you to send me a new Spaceman Spiff toy spaceship. The one in the box disintegrated when it attacked my microwave and started a relatively small fire. Thank you.

Mr. Toucani

The End

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