I don't expect things to change overnight. Even after the verdict had been passed and promises were made to change some criteria here and there...blah, blah...attitudes won't change. There will always be douchebags. After all, how else can one expect the world to be as colorful as it is? Seriously, she's done quite some damage -at least four people had been dishonorably discharged and the army won't go to those individuals and re-enstate them (can't or won't?). Perhaps they'll send an apology letter (what an insult to injury). The least they could do is revoke the dishonorable discharge because having one is worse than a felony.
They discharged got rid of the civilian nurses (guilt by association and all) and those of us who took nursing classes assumed their positions. Which is exactly what it used to be before the government was bought off by corporations and thought it was a good idea to downsize the military in QUALITY and quantity -what a sh*tty idea to allow civilians (many who are untrained even by civilian standards!!) to work in an environment not meant for a civilian heart.
I can't thank you enough for supporting me at my graduation. There's just too much happiness and parties going on in my head ~~just, really thank you for being there! ...How did you convince your mom to come? Anyway, I'm glad you all were there. And no, I wasn't being hypocritical -there's a method to my madness in focusing on you on my graduation. Even if you wanted to hear my tales and inflate my ego (I don't mind that at all) I also know that your mom doesn't want me to influence you any more than I'm already doing. When a person feels threatened, it doesn't matter that the FACT is you're your own person and able to make your own decisions; I may give you ideas, but you don't follow them blindly or without thinking about the possible outcomes first. It's difficult, but I do try to be a responsible adult every now and then...if only for the fact that most other people don't, and because of that, I get to be different and virtuous to boot! But, enough of my ego; revisiting a previous statement I've made about us nurses filling in those positions...means that I don't get stationed elsewhere just yet. They decided to keep me here. It's fine, I suppose. I have a little more free time since basic's over and you know what that means --that's right! More researching. "The Spy" relocated to another post -but I have a feeling it won't be the last I'd hear from him, or about him. ...Some of his friends are still here, and they talk about him...although I have this slight feeling it's not true...or maybe I'm just suspicious of everyone anyway --it's my (good old) skeptic habit I have and why I always get in trouble: with the Church, School, Here even (well, not so much trouble with HERE but with the person who was here and now is not --gloating done).
First order of business: laptop. Done. I'll still send snail mail instead of email because...well, it's just better. The satisfaction of WRITING in cursive, there's just no comparison. Next order of business: meeting my childhood friend. You know how I'm a bit nonchalant; not having a follow-up to plan A (or B...or C) --he posed a good question (and yes, you guessed it, we were at a cafe in town):
"You plan on going public after processing all that information?"
Oh yeah...I just wanted answers -put everything in perspective and leave it for the next sorry ... to come along and read it, love it, hate it, believe it or not. But I guess that's about right -once you come across the Truth, you don't just keep it, you share it. There are some blurbs here and there given about the "war" just nothing SUBSTANTIAL. It's worse than propaganda because people are given little to no information and if they're given anything substantial, don't process any of the information. (Access to information means we shouldn't be lazy, have no excuse to not "know" something. But as always, it's not just Truth but that other "T" word that is the REAL mover and shaker of existence...Time: take away Time, inundate with TRIVIAL information, "forget" to teach critical thinking and voila! You get generations of...devolved humans...*sigh). We don't even have to be lied to anymore because we can lie to ourselves: it's "easier" and more comfortable to be given soundbites than reality. Is it not "propaganda" for many to report the EXACT same viewpoint on the EXACT same story? Oh wait, that's just called shoddy journalism, not propaganda (*Smack the hell at). BUT to answer the question---
"I'm not sure yet..." (<--you don't have to like the answer...although admittedly, it's one of my "lazy, stock" answers. The other lazy, stock answers are similar in nature).
"Well, once you're sure, I'd love to know. My life is as boring as yours was."
"Touché. Hey, but you help me, I help you, right?"
"Sure, we're friends...this is an off record verbal agreement, yes?"
I needed his view on the legality of the "war". It was called a war in the first article I've presented you, yet since then has been downplayed -it's not called a war anymore. Just a conflict, as I'm prety sure I also stated in a previous letter. Look, a conflict is when two parties are past verbal struggling -someone's GOING to get punched in the face --I don't care how civil you are. But what we are currently in, is an argument. How I see it is egos complicate matters...But again, what do I know about strategies, diplomacy, language, or politics? (*aggravated sigh)
"Anything? Or are you just sifting through information like the rest of us?"
"Just like the rest of you...but I imagine I'm going about it the wrong way anyway. Well, as I've always said, if you can't find something, make it up as you go along."
"You've NEVER said that! And that's not how you find the truth."
"Well ~~ sometimes the truth is anticlimatic..."
"So you're not in the journalism industry because..."
"They're dishonest storytellers, and not even good at that. Okay, okay on possibly a serious note I believe you can provide me with the legalistic understanding while I research historically --I have the psychological (and perhaps philosophical) reasonings for this, but to bring it back to the "now" reality, I figure searching back, I can see a bigger picture for this particular war...hopefully."
"Good luck with that --why I never really liked history in the first place: too much history and too little time."
"Eh? Too much time and so little history. Anyway, if it really just boils down to the two (presidents) hating each others' guts, we're in trouble! Wasting resources (I mean of the human kind) for a petty dispute --of course, it explains a lot of things but I really hope it's not for that reason alone."
"Why? Too anticlimatic?"
"Well, yeah. But what's really spicing up the political drama are the groups floating around. What do you know about the AMA?"
"The who? Never heard of them. Domestic or International?"
"Not sure myself. From my understanding, they're a domestic group that focuses on other countries to put pressure on this country. They seem to be trying to change the system on many levels because they have some insiders --they have a core group and many offshoots, AMA being one of those offshoots. Pretty clever, I give them that. They do have a name and mission and are apparently a secret transparent group."
"You mean everyone in it knows the concept/mission but not the real group (if it even is a group)...So I guess members are known but not the core...?"
"The offshoots rotate leadership within their groups and alternate being the 'Main' group -no one seems to really know how they decide to change or how long each gets to be the lead group. I mean, this is all from just asking -I haven't had the chance to further research any of this IF they indeed infiltrated all levels as they claim: there must be a mastermind. There's something so organized and personalized about this, I can't explain, but I still believe there's a pupeteer. I'm not even going to entertain the thought yet, that the real core was created by the most powerful person in the world."
"No, that trillionaire, what's his face..."
"Why would he sabotage himself?"
"Not a conspiracy theorist, and I don't have anything against him, but who else has the means and genius to create such a (conplex) group?"
"Wait, let me guess; his motivation is boredom, right?"
"Ha, ha! I knew I could count on you to follow my thought process!"
"Hmm... Shadow Master, Pupeteer...interesting. So you thinking of joining them if they ask? I mean, come on! You only have one life, may as well not waste it being careful."
"Prudent. I'm not afraid of taking risks -but I don't want to be reckless and dead. Knowing an answer requires I be alive (*pointed look)."
"Fine, fine. I give you credit for fully investing in this truth -may you find it."
"Nah, I don't want an answer, I like the process. The Truth may be ugly or...anticlimatic. SO the journey better be full of mind f...blowing awesomeness."
"Is that so? What were you going to say?"
"I'll treat you. Waiter! Bill please."
So I paid. Perhaps more in words than in any sum of money. Even with the light banter, we weren't taking the matter as lightly as this conversation reveals. I have my work cut out for me, then, in finding new information (rather, a new spin on old information) and especially in researching about AMA...