Back to Square None 5

You'd be surprised at how many books and articles there are on war  -strategies, ballistics, the roles of...well everyone and on and on. As I briefly leaf through some pages (of different books and articles), the tone is consistently and invariably positive towards the military complex. Why shouldn't it be? They are, after all, trying to win over the minds (egos) of men and continue to perpetuate their existence. Fear is necessary, always fear -that which creates an enemy real or imagined, in order to gain control (if you are the top dog) or avoid people (fewer people means more peace, of course). What's necessary for peace is a control of Fear -not the other way around. This isn't to say eradicate all fear because that's just being reckless -it is to say that a peace of mind, heart and soul is the true beginnings of peace.

I suppose I went off on a tangent...my main point was that since the library has (everything I'm not looking for) such books, it won't be suspicious that I go and read about it. Yet, I couldn't help but feel that if I went to the library everyday and read nothing but these kinds of things someone will become suspicious. Someone is always watching -I said watching not spying, and by someone I don't mean the same person consistently for that's just (spying) stalking. (*Sigh) Since I'm writing I do have this habit of rambling -I can "blame" that on you since you've always said that no one really knows about me or what I think, that people (friends) want to know. Really? People, even friends, are horrible listeners. And it's not like I had an interesting life, just an interesting spin on things...at least interesting to me which was probably why I was the only one listening to myself. Not bitter at all but I do wish people used their ears more than their mouths.

Anyway, the good news is that basic training will be over soon and right after graduating and learning where I'll be stationed at, I'll be buying my own laptop. Risky but exciting -I've never owned a laptop before, I always went to the library to research and type my papers. But now that I can afford one...not so great now that I'm really thinking about it -to get a laptop now means it's that much harder to keep my privacy. It will be easier for people who are or may be tracking me to gather information on what I've been doing. The information age (trivia age, really) is so convenient for those who want to control others and know how to manipulate: the players are the same, the field has changed but not for the better. It would've been "better" if old problems were solved, not glossed over. You know the one I mean -the ones about predators "vs." prey and "only the strongest survive". Again people are people no matter the era, and history has proven our demise. We just hasten the process of death while extending our lives using "modern" medicine (*I don't understand how it's modern when many of the chemicals were already in existence. Not only that, there's a HUGE movement for traditional methods...but I digress...modern medicine may be processed in a new way but used for the same thing: cosmetic reasons and trying to cheat death...I hate people).

I think I've done enough ranting (never done) and since you've asked nicely, I'll tell you what that rumor was about...after the trial. I'm not at liberty to discuss anything until after the trials are over. Maybe you're dying to know, and no matter how close a friend you are, I cannot break that honor code. I do keep my promises, you know this, so just be patient a little longer (patience is a virtue, yes?) that way you get to hear the whole story at once instead of in pieces as usual.

Oh, and speaking of graduation -when is yours? This month? Next month? If our graduations aren't around the same time, I can try to sneak off post to see you graduate...but that's a big maybe...If I don't get to see you, know that I'm very proud of you. And unlike everyone else, I won't ask you what you want to do after you graduate -that's the dumbest question to ask -and even if it's not, you'll hear it enough to start believing that I'm right. But not to worry, I won't gloat when you tell me that I am ~ Ciao for now!

The End

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