A what if quiet question. Not really looking for the answer, but more like the wondering if the possibility were there....what would I learn?
If I sent you four letters would they be the same as you'd choose? If I threw all of them in the air would you pick them like sprinkles on a cupcake or gather them the way you scoop water from a well? I imagine all of the things you'd have to say. Sometimes I laugh for hours thinking of all you'd tell. Other nights I cry out like a wounded warrior nearly at deaths feet. I have no words yet the letters fill my head to the point of near explosion.
I miss the smells, the taste of your tears, the way you breathe while you're sleeping. I miss the feet that made me laugh and cry all at once. Why is it the the letters in cry seem so painless, and the letters in laugh... break my heart as it bleeds for truth in understanding. If I were an A would that make me better or stronger? I would be in the first position so would it then make me stronger? My favorite letter is E. I think we should have been asked in what order we feel most at ease with letters. Did you know that in the language they use in Hawaii they have only 12 letters? That's a random thought.... It makes me sad, but then it excites me to think if we could have done more with less. Do you need more letters than I have given? Can you use the letters more than once in the way that I am able? I would gift you every letter a million times if only to get one word from you. There are so many things I want you to know and even more I want to learn from the place in which you've gone. Is it heaven? Is it magical on its own, or in some way do you have to discover or create that for yourself? Why don't the letters I've chosen feel like enough? Why does it break me to think I'm missing one no one knows of? It's like it hiding on purpose to deny me in some way, but I know it to be true bit doesn't exist....but why? Why am I searching even in my dreams for that one letter I feel you and I would discover? You've been away now for so long it's hard to remember your face yet I see it all in great detail. Why? Who called you away? Was it my fault? Did you want to leave and not take a single memory?