Did I ever tell you that I love you?
About twice every day, I know. You used to call me 'hopeless romantic'. And then I'd call you 'idiot'. And then we'd laugh.
People ask me all the time how I'm doing. I tell them I'm fine.
The truth is, I don't know how I'm doing. Most of the time I just feel nothing. I'm so empty and hollow, like I'm missing something vital. My body can't function without you. Other times, though, I'm physically in pain, like you've just been ripped from me. I'm tearing at my face and hair. I'm sobbing and screaming.
I feel like such a kid when people ask me how I'm doing. I want to yell at them 'What do you think?! I feel shit awful!'
But then they'd just make excuses for me. And right now, the last thing I need is pity.
I just really need a hug.