January 8

Letter To A Wandering Soul,

I am a disappointment and a failure. I never live up to the expectations that my most beloved ones set for me. They must be trying to put up with my extreme idiocy as I try to fulfill my needs.

I always thought I'd be the bright one, the one who thinks positive no matter what and can accomplish anything by just believing. I've proved myself wrong. I'm not that person...that person who plays my role in my dreams and gets the most of their life. I'm someone who I don't want to be; someone who hates challenges that they believe they cannot pass; someone who makes a long face all the time and disappoints people around them.

And the most huge, monumental thing I hate about myself...I am a big fat liar. For trying to live a lie by bing someone I'm finding impossible to be. For telling people that I'm an optomist and that they should look on the bright side when I can't do that myself. If I were Pinochio, my nose would be stretched a hundred feet, no, infinity feet long because of my stupid, lying self. That's right, I'm a loser.

The only thing I'm probably good at doing is acting as if everything is okay, and actually forcing myself to believe that so everything would be okay. But deep inside, I know that I'm not okay at all...not even close. I don't even know if this is a good thing. I wonder if because of all this my heart is going to turn black and stop beating...maybe it should.

You know what I am?

I'm pathetic.

With regret,

Your soul-searching spirit.

The End

11 comments about this story Feed