January 30

Letters To A Wandering Soul,

Self-harm and temptation come together in strange ways. Lately, everytime I lay my eyes on something that could cut me, I have the urge to grab the object and just inflict harm upon myself before thinking twice about it.

Don't take me wrong. I'm not having this wild desire because I'm depressed or any reason like that. I'm wanting to do this because I hate the fact that I don't have any scars; both physically and emotionally.

I'm perfect in every way in the eyes of other people...but only myself, I know that I'm not perfect in every other way. But the reason why people can't see it is because I don't show it. I put on fake emotions most of the time and just act happy, and physically, I'm fit. I'm making sure I stay healthy. I don't want to be Ms. Perfect to my eyes too; I don't want to fall for my own lies.

So I want there to be a scar for me to show to myself every time I need a reminder of life's cruelty. Is that something big to ask for? To have just one scar as a mark to myself about my life experiences?

Within Temptation,

Your soul-searching spirit

The End

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