The Row

Dear Ravi,

I saw you at school this morning and panicked. I didn’t know what to say. Were you still carrying all that unnecessary guilt? Were the memories still fresh in your mind? I didn’t know, so I ran. I avoided you till lunch and was planning to sneak outside, but apparently you went to ninja school too and you caught me. The expression had on your face was so confused that it made me feel foolish.

You finally asked me why I avoided you and I broke. I burst out crying and let go of the tears I didn’t know I’d been holding. You looked stunned and after only a moment’s hesitation, pulled me to your chest. I don’t know how long we stood there like that, but you didn’t make any move to push me away.

When we finally pulled away slightly and you tilted my chin upwards, I blurted that I knew the truth. I knew why you were acting this way- all nice and sweet. It was because you felt guilty. You were just doing it to alleviate that feeling and the minute you felt better about yourself, you would leave.

To say you looked shocked would be an understatement. Your mouth hung open and you had the most comical expression of disbelief on your face; which lasted for barely a second before it turned to anger. You told me that you could not believe I actually had such little faith in you; acting as if I knew nothing about you, to which I stupidly replied that since I didn’t remember you, I wasn’t sure if I knew you at all. Almost instantly I wished I could take it back because your expression changed to hurt so quickly, and it made me feel so pathetic. I had no idea why I said that or why I was behaving this way because I didn’t believe a word of what I was saying. I was just so mad and confused and my emotions were all over the place. But you didn’t know that. All you probably saw was a whiny ungrateful girl who didn’t deserve you at all.

Today was the first time you walked away from me and it hurts. It hurts so badly, but what feels even worse is that you didn’t stop when I called out your name.  You ignored me and sat back with the populars who greeted you so naturally it seemed as if you’d never left them in the first place. You were smiling and laughing like you did on your first day while I stood in a corner silently watching you. Only this time, you didn't turn around

I made a terrible mistake Ravi, and I’m so sorry.



The End

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