It's once again been a while, but that doesn't mean that I don't think about you and miss you every single day.
I got my Leaving Certificate results and I got the points I need to get into college. I am so happy I'll be closer to the people that I care about. My whole family is moving back down Charlie, to where we used to live.
I miss that place so much, most of my childhood and teen years were spent in that town. I remember your face when I told you I was leaving. I don't know who was more gutted, me or you.
It will be hard to visit all our old haunts and not have you there Charlie. I don't want to but I've accepted that you are gone and that you will not be coming back in this life. I've been thinking a lot of things over lately and I realise that even though it hurts me deep down, I have to let you go.
Charlie you are my Angel. I know that you will always be by my side, but I can't live the rest of my life writing letters and mourning you. I think you'd probably slap me for it anyway. But still, it's not a healthy pastime to cling to hard to what if's and what could have been's.
I'll be writing to tell you about my first day of college Charlie, I'll tell you about the new house, and all about Danny.
I think that you'd get on really well with Danny, he's one of the nicest people I've ever met and he's so good to me it's almost a sin. You'd like him Charlie, he's our kind. I like to think of him as a best friend. Not in the same way as you and Andy of course, you two were my other brothers. Danny is something different. I can't explain it because I don't understand it myself.
But anyway, I will write and tell you about everything I can Charlie. But for the moment, no more sadness. I can't promise that I'll stick to that rule, especially when I'm back where we used to hang out as kids, but I'll try my best to be brave.
I'll have my chin up, just like you told me to do.
I miss you.