I don’t know what to do with myself any more,
I don’t think I can handle all this,
If I left today what would everybody think?
How can I be sure that I’ll be missed?
But there’s no answer,
There’s no answer when I call out.
When my body’s giving up because my soul needs to breathe,
And I can’t do anything but unwillingly thieve,
On other people’s happiness, on other people’s joy,
And replace it with something that destroys.
I scribbled down the last few words and sighed. A song; that's new. I guess it's a poem written down, but I sang it in my head, all the same.
"I'm off into town!" I shouted to my mum. I was already opening the door when I heard a faint reply.
As the sun warmed my face, and the cool breeze lifted my hair, I thought about the two things that always troubled me when I wanted to leave a letter. 1) Any people who would either question me upfront or read what I wrote straight after. 2) A suitable place for the scrap of paper to live.
I walked down the steps to the river, my favourite place, and scanned the area. It was busy, very busy, due to the hot summers day. My eyes wandered from bench to bench and from tree to tree, but to no avail. The place was packed. Ready to leave, I spun on my heel with my head the last to turn, staring desperately for an clear spot. As I began walking, something out of the corner of my eye made me stop. An empty bench. Admittedly it was on the rough side of town that I had always stayed clear of, full of chavs with knives and old men with sunglasses...but it was an empty bench.
I made a beeline for it.
After picking up a stone to hold the paper down, I looked around cautiously, hoping there to be nobody around. Spotting a group of chavs in the distance, I quickly placed the letter down, trapped it under the rock and turned to leave.
To my surprise, I was met by the stare of a boy standing a few feet away. No, a man. A young man, maybe around 18, with scruffy dark hair and hazel eyes filled with curiosity. I tried to hide my shock and stared back, neither of us saying a word. After what felt like an eternity but in reality was probably less than 10 seconds, he turned and walked away.