Leonie missed a lot of my childhood. She missed me getting my first swimming certificate, my first real birthday party and sleepovers, she missed giving me a girly-makeover and teaching me how to dance. She missed doing all the sisterly things that most girls and their sisters take for granted.
I grew up wanting Leonie to come back so much. Mum was distraught and wouldn't talk to anyone for weeks - Leonie was such a big part of our family. Suddenly, I drifted away and needed my Dad to look after me, but he never knew what to say. He wasn't Leonie's father, so he couldn't possibly say anything.
No news ever came, and when I turned eleven all I ever wished for that day of that stupid-girly-birthday party, was Leonie to be back by night-time, to give me a hug and sing Happy Birthday in her cheerful high voice. But it never happened, the wish never came true. I wished it every birthday, even though when I turned thirteen I knew there was probably not much chance she would come back. She'd been gone for four years, without a word.
Instead of growing up a confident, bubbly girl, I shattered and I was lonely and quiet. For some reason I hated myself and blamed myself for what happened to Leonie, it always haunted me. I never stopped thinking about her. Sometimes I dreamt about her, horrible nightmares of her being snatched at a party. But sometimes there were nice dreams, like of her being at my parties and being my normal sister, the one I missed and loved so much.
When I turned fourteen, Mum had met another man, David, and they had a child together. Imogen changed everything. Mum didn't seem to care about Leonie and put all her focus on Imogen. I hated it, and just wanted Mum to think about Leonie for a second. David didn't even seem to know. I instantly hated Imogen for changing everything, though I knew it wasn't Imogen's fault Leonie went missing, or Imogen's fault that Mum seemed to change everything. Imogen wasn't to blame for being born, either. She couldn't help it, but Mum could.
So, I decided to talk to Mum about it. But, we didn't really talk. We pretty much argued.
"Mum, why have you forgot about Leonie?" I asked as gently as I could.
"FORGOT? Jesika, do you think I'd forget about Leonie?" Mum raised her eyebrows and started shaking slightly. There was a tone in her voice that made me scared and unaware of what to say.
"Well, ever since Imogen arrived you've acted so busy and stressed, to busy and stressed to think about Leonie." I gulped, hoping this wouldn't start some arguement.
"I can't be bothered with you Jesika. Stop being horrible to me. You're being a stupid bitch, you know I fucking care about Leonie! I've missed her too you know, the world doesn't revolve around you. Now get off my back and go to bed. You'll be having no dinner tonight." Mum spoke quietly, but there was that same tone that had scared me earlier. Mum hardly ever swore, so this made me even more upset.
So upset that I did something life-changing..