I’ve been trapped for 29 days now. I've ate food that doesn’t require water to make, and I ran out of “fresh” water, but there is still toilet water, but I don’t think I could drink it. Recently I have been thinking of my ancestors, and what this would’ve been like for them. However, now I am thinking of the katana that has been passed down for generations through the Fujiwara clan.
I still remember when my father told me he wanted me to have it on his deathbed. He told me, “Son, this sword has been passed on for many generations. There are many legends of what have been done with this weapon, which I have told you before Before I give this sword to you, you must swear not to sell, no matter the price, and you also need to swear you will take care of this katana.” I knew how much this meant to him, since something very similar happened with his father. So I swore to never sell it and take good care of it for as long as I live. He wanted me to leave him there in that small town hospital, and go to my newfound job in Tokyo. It was hard for me, but he still told me to leave. So I did. I received a call soon after, and found out he died. Of course, I knew he would want me to stay at my job so I wouldn’t miss the first days of my first real job.
Now, I go back to my current situation, and I look at the beautiful katana. It is amazing to think of some of the stories of this weapon. According to them, it had been “used” in many important clan events. I remembered a specific one, about an honorable death. What this person did was he went against an order from an emperor, so instead of being executed, he pushed the sword through his abdomen, in front of the emperor he had disobeyed, so he could die with honor. I have decided to follow his steps instead of the toilet water option, where I will still likely die. So, to put it simply, I am ending my life instead of starving and dieing of thirst. After I finish this final entry, I will take this katana, and slice through my abdomen, and as I lay dying, I will think of my father’s amazing care, and the job he got me. I will think of my mother, who I never got to meet, since she died after I was born. And finally, I will think of all the other people on this planet who may suffer, may of suffered, or may be suffering.
September 9th, 2016
- Fujiwara no Rin,
Following the honorable path.