The sound of ten am birdsong is very distinctive. The birds, having already accomplished the dawns territorial calling; go about the business of birdie commerce with a cheery air most of the work weary would fail to accomplish. It is this birdsong which first brings me around, the sunshine is the second, and I can feel I am buried beneath the covers of my bed, yet I am unwilling to open my eyes just yet. I needed to first leave the dream I just had.
“Mew!” I hear, so I scrunch my eyes closed and I stretch and I do al those ‘Hmmm’s’ and ‘haa-aah’s’ and groany I’m a-wakey sounds and I yawn widely and satisfyingly and I open my eyes….want to hear a yukky bit? Good! Okay, when I opened my eyes I was on my back, so when I looked up, what did I see descending towards me?
The biggest, fattest, grossest spider ever in the whole world lowering itself towards me!
I screamed and as if the sound broke the web, it fell onto the back of my right hand and I screamed like a girly girl and catapulted it across the room. One of my cats (A big fat, semi feral tortoiseshell with lynx-like qualities) pounced upon the bed after the spider that he had apparently been biding his time for, sparing me as he passed a derisive ‘you pussy’ look, I laughed at that look and he jumped off after his quarry with a savages eyes and a rolling satisfied mew.
I sat up in bed and scrubbed my face with clammy palms. I heard a diminished ‘mew’ and knowing it wasn’t Bollox the tortoiseshell (for that is his name) for his sounds manly more of a ‘MUOW!’ than a meow, it had to be my puffy cat Poo-ying. There he sat in the threshold of the doorway with his tail and his paws all tucked up into his familiar ‘considering’ pose, he looked at me with glittering greenish-yellow eyes and opened his pink mouth to say
“Maaoow” And just under his regal chin I pictured this subtitle…
“Poo-ying…come gimme some love!” I patted the covers and smoothed a cat sized area into the duvet; he slowly squinted at me and licked at a forepaw. “Poo-ying...” I patted the covers again. While still regarding me, he used the moistened forepaw to swipe his head into a sleek smoothness; I made mouse squeak sounds at him…
“Maaoow! Maaoow rrll-oow” Said he (subtitles: breakfast, breakfast now...)
I began to feel better, amused by my kitties and their differing aspects, summer thundered through the sun-filled room and I felt clean and refreshed and new.
“Are you coming then poo-ying?” I asked as though I didn’t really care whether he did or not. This ruse didn’t work as he knows he is the favorite, and he simply sat there in the doorway with a bar of sunshine creeping towards him and his eyes opened wider as though he had raised his brows at me.
Am I boring you with the kittie shit? There is a reason for it and I only have a little more of this to go…okay? Kay…
The way to get a pet to come and give you love, is to go to another one of your pets for love…I called out for Bollox the torturing tortoiseshell, who leapt onto the bed with a smug mouthful of spider, and so in came poo-ying to see what Bollox had.
“Mew” poo-ying said to Bollox
“MOW” replied he in his deep little voice spitting out the spider and pawing at its twitching remains. Poo-ying took his turn purring cheerily at Bollox’s find as he batted at the spider.
I yawned again and stretched and I lit a cigarette from a packet that was underneath my pillow.
“What am I going to do today cats?” I got no reply or response from them; they seemed to be conferring about what to do with the spider. I sat and smoked and watched the cats chat in their patch of sunlight and I thought about how I was feeling and how I should have been feeling after a dream like the one I had escaped from.
The cats, having conferred themselves a conclusion, leapt from the bed, leaving me with the slowly dying spider, the thundering sunshine, and my own, private, cleaned out thoughts.