KZZM in High DefinitionMature

THIS IS KZZM IN HIGH DEFINITION

ALL YOUR NONSTOP NEWS

ACCURATE WEATHER-PLUS FORCASTS

AND SPORTS HEADLINES AS QUICK AS WE POSSIBLY CAN

LIVE, MOST OF THE TIME, UNLESS WE HAVE TO EDIT SOMETHING

IN WHICH CASE WE MAY BROADCAST SEMI-LIVE

OR WHAT WE LIKE TO CALL AROUND THE OFFICE: "SLIVE"

THIS IS KZZM LOCAL NEWS 7 @ 7

RIGHT NOW!

Coming up:
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A Claw Park policeman finds himself in the line of fire -- targeted by his fellow officers in a plot to ruin his career, the former sergeant is now working the night shift at a local pet store. Is he embittered? Vengeful? His perspective may surprise you. Stay tuned for more in a moment.
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A Finneville veterinarian aboard a northbound city bus this morning was stunned to find himself in a predicament his training hadn't exactly prepared him for. Find out how he was able to cope later in the program.
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In business news: With worker productivity and corporate profits on the rise while wages continue to stagnate, do you find that "shit-talking" in the workplace keeps YOU sane? We'll visit a local mailroom that has taken that concept to new heights, coming up.
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Don't forget sports! We've got all the weekend's highlights on tap! We should really try and get to it if we can! I mean people wanna know who won and lost and what not, whether in their own particular postal region or elsewhere!
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Yes Donnie we'll try and get to that. Ladies and gentleman that was Donnie Salvacion, our exuberant middle-aged sportscaster guy who is sometimes prone to inappropriate outburst and should, at this point, consider himself lucky he is still employed here at Channel 7. Hi Donnie! We'll try and save some time for you at the end of the hour to let everyone in Western Arizona know what happened with regard to balls this week ok?
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Super! 'Cause...
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Shut up Donnie.
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Good evening everyone. I'm Curtis McCleary.

And I'm Esperanza Clarke.

Curtis: We like to call her Espy.

Esperanza: Surely our viewers don't need to know that Curtis. I myself don't even particularly like being called that.

Curtis: You just said "I myself".

Esperanza: You're point being?

Curtis: That's like saying "me me" or "I I". Are there two you's?

Esperanza: Okay now you're being obnoxious?

Curtis: I'm not the one wearing a Donna Karan scarf on camera. It's not cold in here.

Esperanza: I happen to like the good stuff. Is that a crime?

Curtis: Well, I myself think you're trying a little too hard. Or perhaps you're attempting to camouflage certain, shall we say, hickIES you recieved last weekEND from our now ex-program director MarQUEESE?

Esperanza: I told you those weren't hickies Curtis. I was ironing my hair and accidently singed myself on the neck a little, that's all.

Curtis: And on the solar-plexus? Were you ironing your boobs too?

Esperanza: No Curtis when I want my boobs ironed I call Marqueese over and have him iron them for me. And you can be assured of three things: 1. the plexus is well below the breast region, 2. you'll never see my plexus or boobs again, and 3. I had nothing to do with Marqueese getting fired.

Curtis: Ladies and gentleman Espy the Man Eater here is going to give you our first story of the evening as soon as she pulls herself together.

Esperanza: Die slowly in a grease fire Curtis. Ladies and gentleman tonight we take you to Claw Park and a bizarre story involving a 16-year veteran of the Claw Park Police force, former sergeant Clovis Washington -- a man who rose from humble beginnings in rough-and-tumble Southern Sparx, he grew up in the notorious Adeline Projects, the product of a single mother who worked two jobs and attended night school through much of Clovis' formative years...

 

The End

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