I was staring, I could not control myself, he was a mere two foot from me. Within distance to touch, to hold, the desire to reach out and close the short span was insatiable. He tossed his head back as he laughed the sound rang out like bells, a clear but warm echo. We were watching a comedy show of sorts, it was witty and not at all vulgar so, I’m sure, normally I would have found it amusing, but I was far too distracted to pay any notice; there were bette things to watch. I could feel his presence, his aura, it intoxicated me. The three of us sat there for hours as the sun sank into the horizon speckling the seemingly endless, cloudless sky with bright colors that were seen rarely in nature. He was closest to the open window and the beams of soft light cast into the room making him glow. The effect was angelic and romantic; he looked like the subject of a great masterpiece of old. A painting of an arch angel, basking in warmth and radiance, he was himself the very epitome of both.
I wanted to engage him in conversation, to look at him freely. In the presence of his sister this would be incalculably impolite and therefore impossible. An opportunity never arose and I left a mere few hours later as the sky turned black.
Over the next few weeks I didn’t visit their dwelling, I considered several times just arriving upon their doorstep, but such audacity was unlike me and spontaneity wasn’t my forte. In a way I was annoyed at myself, I knew what I wanted, what I decided, I knew I could seize it and yet I made no attempt, my cowardice ashamed me.
It was bright inside despite the dark grey clouds that hung, ominous, in the sky of the outside world. One of the youngest caught my eye, she sat in the corner with a exceedingly staid expression of her face; it was odd to see such a mature look on such a youthful and pure face.
“Cadence, is something troubling you? I asked
“It doesn’t concern you Giselle, do not pretend you have any real apprehension over me” she snarled and without another word she rose from her chair and stalked out of the room.
The sett was busy today, females of all ages walked about the light cavernous room, but I made no effort to communicate with any of them, in general, the sempiterna women did not care to socialize with others of there own kind. Any banter tended to be short lived and often not exactly amicable, we had no real reason to speak to one another, despite all of us having a long list of similarities. I dwelled on the reaction of the young one I was slightly irritated by it, I should have been used to such behavior, but for some reason I always found the common place of spitefulness surprising.
The day faded slowly, I was barley aware of the time; I was recollecting, never a good idea, and too many lifetimes that could cause me reason to be overly nostalgic. I needed to get away, to allow myself to not think, to just react, to run, to feel wind in my hair, to be as I wanted to be, unhindered by anyone else.
The atmosphere was sinister; the branches of the woodland trees whipped and creaked as the wind whistled through them, and they cast baleful shadows onto the only points of light in the wood. The wind whistled fiercely, the rain slashed down, thunder cracked and lightning illuminated the sky. I wasn’t conscious of where I was going, I wasn’t even conscious I was moving, until I stopped, where I stopped was what aroused my awareness. His house, I was outside his house. His window was open and the light was on. He was awake. I was frozen, unsure I calculated the possibilities in my head as quickly as I was able. Nothing. All that mattered was him. Logic did not even come into the equation.
Time stood still and my breathing came to a holt, I was terrified beyond reason. I was too frightened to make a sound, what if he heard?
For the first occasion ever, I felt time drag. Every second, to me was an hour, his face haunted me, his smile echoing through my memories, ghostly but somehow potent. My want to see him was unappeasable. It burned ravenously through me, ripping and tearing, searing my very soul. I didn’t even decide to act; before I could I had already reached his window.