Oh the classic boy meets girl scenario however in this case that does not say it all, at least I hope not, though one can never be certain.
Just one kiss, that’s all it was. Just one fleeting brush of your lips against mine. A forced kiss, not one planned by either of us but by some other scrupulous mind. Not a kiss of passion or the result of some untamed, escaped desire and yet for some reason, the second your lips left mine, my heart began to bleed. What could be more exciting than forbidden love?
I smiled, reflecting yours, laughing slightly at our odd situation but never -the- less, it was undeniable, that feeling and I knew you felt it too because of that one fleeting kiss. I glanced around and every member of the ring bore a different expression, though they were all feeling the same thing, excitement. The danger was intoxicating.
We continued, laughing and drinking as we had before, but, I couldn’t help but stare at you. Take in you face, your body. My eyes relentlessly scanned your illicit form; you were not to be mine. Your chest was exposed, your shirt lying on the floor as a result of some other forgotten instruction, you didn’t mind. Though, verbally you denied the enjoyment, at first pretending to you wanted to decline the order, you wished to not seem too eager to reveal all and impress. I knew you too well, from the years as awkward acquaintances, we had both learned enough to know, that we were right together.
I saw you staring too, you thought your face was hidden, I saw you grin as the others came up with further schemes for us that they thought malicious, but you wanted me, you wanted to feel my hands on your chest, my fingers in your hair, my lips on yours. You wanted me with every ounce of your existence.
The game eventually came to a close, much to my relief; I was beginning to get uncomfortable, particularly when the suggestions turned to me kissing other males from the group. That I felt was wrong, I didn’t understand this whole promiscuity idea. You carried one of the drunken girls in your well muscled arms and placed her softly on the sofa in the living room next door, I lifted another into my arms and followed suit. Nearly all of them had either passed out, or were too incapacitated to walk. I was slightly ashamed of their behaviour but I had long ago accepted changing times, and pushed the scorn from my mind. Soon all the girls were curled on mattresses or sofas and the males were eventually helped to the spare room. I walked back into the kitchen preparing for my remaining hours alone but to my surprised your footsteps followed me and suddenly the air changed. Tension. We were alone. My breathing became more rapid and I could hear your heart hammering against your ribcage. I seated myself on one of the kitchen counters at the opposite end of the room from him.
“Are you not tired? He murmured “It’s past four”
“I -err- don’t sleep actually.” I wanted nothing less than to remind him of what I was and my heart was breaking over the fact that his first words to me in our solitude had forced me to do just that.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” His brow furrowed and his eyes became contrite.
“It’s fine” I could feel my cheeks blushing.
“I’ll stay with you” He sounded resolved on this point.
“No, you must be tired. It is past four after all” I smiled at him. Why was I trying to encourage him not to stay? Was I crazy?
He smiled and chuckled slightly his bright blue eyes twinkling. My eyes wandered again. He was still without a shirt. I was surprised by how muscular he was. At first glance he looked long and lanky, un-toned; a normal skinny young human.
“No, don’t worry about me. I’m not tired in the slightest and anyway I’d rather keep you company” My heart stopped. Eventually, it restarted with a painful splutter.
We talked until we heard the others arouse, laughing quietly all the time. We spoke of: literature, art, music, politics, friends, and life. On occasion the conversation turned towards my species, he seemed most curious about that.
Eventually I heard the rustling of a sleeping bag and the plodding of feet. I sprang down from the counter, on which I had been stationary for the last few hours and surely enough a few seconds later in came the person I least wanted to see at that point, his sister and my best friend, Roxie. She was not delighted to see me sitting with her brother.
Eventually, the day ended and it was time to go, I was just walking to the door when suddenly a hand seized my wrist firmly and pulled me into the next room.
I heard the door click as it closed and my back was pushed firmly against the wall. You stood looming above me, fair skin, dark hair, piercing blue eyes.
His breath flowed across my cheeks; it reminded me of flowers rustling in a gentle breeze, of a summer long ago. My blood pulsed through my veins increasing my heart rate to a rapid fluttering, like a humming birds wings.
“Well, I’ll see you soon then” His voice was casual; the juxtaposition between his stance over me and relaxed voice was shocking.
“Yes, I suppose you will” I mirrored his voice with ease, one fortunate feature of my kind; we are blessed with unnatural self control. He stood staring at me for a moment then shifted his weight and turned walking straight out of the door without a backward glance.
I spent the rest of the day in the park, crouching in one of the high branches of an ancient oak tree with Pride and Prejudice as my only companion; my thoughts drifted often, it was unlike me to get distracted so easily.
The worst part of being one of my kind, is the night, the long nights. There is very little to do at night, most treat night as a wonder, a land of enigma or of fear, but in actual fact, it’s dull, dark is always the same there is no variation. So at night, I walked, trailing paths in parks and towns, along river beds and through fields; I never paid particular attention to where I was going. It was a cold night, as per usual in the English January.
Once I returned to the sett I looked in one of the many mirrors, my skin was clearer that much was obvious, and I was starting to lose the stark line of my jaw and cheek bones, I hated that. I settled into one of the arm chairs by the fire, no one else was around so I was free to sit and become totally wrapped in my own thoughts...
Of course my thoughts centred around him entirely, on the one and despite my clear interest in him I was irritated, immensely so, I was cool in character, formal and by in large respected by others but he had made me feel like a blushing child, whom from her embarrassment and awkwardness would not be able to construct a fluent sentence ,let alone anything else. I disliked this incalculably.