Karate Koala

Toyota was not having any luck in her mission.

That is, she wasn't looking hard enough.

She wasn't looking at all.

You see, after the first week and a half of searching tirelessly through every single town in Arizona, she became... TIRED. And then for the rest of that week, she was searching tiringly, and it was much less fun. So she stopped.

Then, she saw an ad on Facebook about somebody called Karate Koala. He was supposed to be able to take away all of your fear and place it into your enemy's mind, and that is just what she wanted right then.

And she forgot about it until she saw it again a few weeks later, and she wrote it on her phone so she would remember to look it up when she wasn't supposed to be working (she works part time at Subway because her quest for hicks doesn't pay very well). Then she forgot where she wrote it on her phone and spent another week or so looking for that, after which she was fired from Subway for being absent for more than two days in a row for no apparent reason.

Anyways, enough about her boring life. Back to the mission.

She ended up at Karate Koala's house. It was a japanese themed place with a quiet, simple atmosphere that gave Toyota the creeps.

She looked in the pond and saw fishes. She dipped her foot in it and caught one between her toes and fried it with her sunburned arm. She was eating it while she walked in his home without knocking or even calling out. When she finished with the fish, she threw the bones in a corner and wiped her hands and face on a white pillow after touching a bunch of other things, among them, although she didn't have any idea, was the Karate Koala.

"Some say love, it is a river, that drowns the tender... reed?" she sang uncertainly.

"WRONG!" called a high pitched screech.

She heard a blast and saw a flash of green light and, being a Harry Potter fan, thought she was dead. She fell over and woke up a few minutes (she could only guess) later. She thought minutes because the fluffy Koala (again, she could only guess-- he looked like a fat old raccoon) was still standing there watching her.

"Welcome, welcome. Thou hath wakenst. (Toyota was sure that didn't make sense.) I shall teach you how to be bulletproof!"

And they started dancing because they heard the song in their heads. Even the master Koala who was extremely old and fragile and overweight.

Finally, he broke both of his legs and had to sit down for a while. Unfortunately he told her he could not teach her yet, but that she had learned all she needed to know.

What a cryptic message!  She would think of it once more in her life, but this was not the time.

The End

0 comments about this story Feed