"So it's two hours later, ya know, and she's sitting there on the phone with her mother sayin' 'How's 'bout you pick up your clothes once in a while?' ya know?"
Gwyneth just nodded and puffed on her cigar. She wasn't really sure why Lucinda was talking this way. She'd been talking strange ever since Gwyneth couldn't hear anything she said.
After that fall in the haystack, Gwyneth found out that she could understand emotion better and went to college to get her special degree that guarenteed that she'd get accepted for every job she wanted. She was so glad she saw that advertisement on Facebook! I guess this college was founded by a real mother!
After she typed in her full name, age, address, and printed it off, she got a job as a therapist and has been doing that for as long as she can remember.
In a minute it would be 5 hours after the fall.
The doctors say that the fall probably gave her memory loss. Nobody believed it. Heck, Gwyneth couldn't even remember him saying it!
"HEY GWYNETH WHATCHA THINKIN BOUT?" That darn voice again!
She whipped around and slammed the cigar in... Lucinda's eye.
.... The funeral was the next day.
Yep, as it turns out, a person can't survive on dust bunnies for four consecutive years, as the orphan had been doing. Everyone was sad, but nobody was as sad as Gwyneth. She had lost a game of Texas Hold'em against Sherlock and now owed him half of her bank account.
In Underwater Narnia, it's customary to put the shoes on the feet of the dead at their funeral. The only shoe the orphan had was the wine splattered one, so Lucinda walked up and slipped it on her foot.
All of the sudden Sherlock ran up to her from the side and tackled her, making them both tumble down the stairs. Then something happened that made Gwyneth angry: Lucinda and Sherlock decided to take a nap! In the middle of the orphan's funeral! 'Oh, she'll be getting a long email of complaints from SOMEBODY later!' she thought.
But the others were staring at something strange. The orphan's shoe was at least ten sizes too big for this girl!! Everybody left and by the time Gwyneth woke up again, even Lucinda and Sherlock were gone. All that was left of them was Lucinda's new glass eye that kept falling out.
Then it clicked: dead people's feet shrink.
"Well now it all makes sense!" Gwyneth thought out loud. "Last night, I knew her feet were sort of small, but it just-" she was tackled by... a merman!
Only he had a giraffe head! And a fish body, with arms as fins. And a seaweed wig.
"I know you! I-I danced with you once upon a d-dream!" she stuttered.
"No you didn't. You don't know me. Now get off my arm, fatty." he said.
As soon as she smelled his words, which smelled like human bacon, she shifted her weight a little and rolled right into the crack in the ground that she made when she fell. Then she got stuck and remembered her father had been a puffer fish. So she sucked in and fell into a different world....