1.1 - Beginning

These are bits and pieces of the novel I'm writing. I would greatly appreciate comments/suggestions for improvement.

Dust fell slowly on the man's face. In the hot afternoon sunlight, it swirled and danced in the air until it finally settled down into his breathing pores. The man was so still that he seemed dead: a fragile state for a man to be in. His breaths were steady and even, his face was a placid mask.

            At once, something in the man stirred. His eyebrow twitched and his face was soon filled with life as if he were only just sleeping. The heat of the sunlight and the aching of soreness seemed to finally shake him out of his coma. The man wanted to move. In fact, the man needed to move, but for some reason his body wouldn't allow it. Although he didn't recognize it, panic was growing threatening his mind. The man tried to roll over, shield his burning eyes, or simply open his eyelids, but no matter how hard he willed himself to move, he was paralyzed.

            Hours seemed to pass under the bright, hot heat of the sun. The man remained still on the floor, although his eyelids would twitch once or twice as if in protest. Finally, like prying off the lid of a tin can, his muscles tightened and relaxed and he was able to turn himself to his side. The man opened his eyes to the dusty hardwood floor and let out a groan just barely audible even to himself. The man violently coughed up the dust that had collected in his mouth. He felt terrible. His muscles were tight and sore, his head hurt, his stomach felt raw from hunger and a strange feeling overcame his groin. Damn, he had to pee.

            The man put his hands underneath his body and began his futile attempt to free himself from the floor. Gravity seemed to be working against him, but after a few awkward attempts, he managed to sit up and finally stand on his feet. Suddenly a wave of senses hit him. The smell of cedar and burnt sap, the warmth of the sun, the lazy image of dust particles floating through the air and the piercing silence of the cabin shocked the man into complete and utter confusion. A wordless question echoed in his mind. Although he couldn’t quite put it into a thought, the man was asking himself what he was just about to do.

            It came back to him in a sudden, painful stab in his bladder. Damn, he really had to pee! The man stumbled across the room to the door and eventually found himself outside, where he promptly took a piss. After he relieved himself, the man looked up and around, studying his surroundings. Thankfully there was no one around to see him. In fact, there were only trees: lots and lots of trees. The man turned a full circle and realized something was wrong. Again, he couldn’t put any words to his thoughts. A sudden realization came over him: he didn’t know anything. He didn’t have any thoughts. It was as if he didn’t even have a mind to put them in. 

The End

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