Prologue: Journal Entries from a Man Murdered by Snow (And yadda yadda yadda)

Joe is finally having an okay Christmas, but that murderous snow is sure to spoil things for him. Thankfully he got that new flamethrower attachment... A short Christmas-themed story.

 [From the journal of the late Eman Cinori]

December 23, 2043

I haven't been able to write up till now because my trip to Venus has been eventful. Now that I am on the way back, I am excited about my Christmas gift for my son - a water bottle of martian water that I managed to smuggle into my luggage. I'm sure there's no reason they've got regulations against it, anyway. It's not like the water on Venus could possibly be any different from the water on Earth. On another positive side, our ship is scheduled to land on Christmas day in the morning!

December 24, 2043

I decided to make the water into snow because apparently there was a heavy snowfall back at Earth. Martian snow - I'm sure my son will love it! Of course, I broke even more rules using the radioactive snowifier, but I'm sure nobody reads to those little warning signs anyways. Christmas day is tomorrow, and I'm sure my son Little Johnny will absolutely love my present!

[The following entry is presumed to have been written on that night]

AAAAAH if anyone reads this tell the military tell anyone and run run run get off of earth the rocket is about to land and I don't have time to radio in ahhh the snow is sentient run it's going to kill us all!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh no oh no I hear it it's outside this room it's coming in I don't know how it knows I'm here ah here it com

[Dried bits of smudged blood is noted on final entry]

[From a following police report]

Death of subject: Subject had apparently been flash-frozen at an alarming rate (within approximately a half second of being exposed to a temperature under freezing)
There is no knowledge yet of how this happened though various scientists who examined the body believe that a system akin to a highly advanced version of cryogenics could possibly create such a result.

[Written by Investigator Mark Yawon]


Author's Note:

This is a Christmas-themed story. It's not my usual genre nor am I taking it all that seriously; instead I am attempting to gain some laughs. Some. 

Warning: Rated PG for snowman violence and overuse of fire. (Whoops, too late on the former)

I'm also posting this on here ( to try out this interesting format. I, you see, am a Wattpaddian.

Christmas Countdown: Released with 18 days until Christmas.

The End

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