Quite a big skip from the previous bit. This is a selection of all my different bits and pieces from this
“Look Charlie, I don’t want to do this anymore!” I turned and glared at him, “Why should I bother? There’s nothing here for me!”
“Jez don’t be ridiculous. There’s everything here for you. You know that.” He came towards me and put his hands on my shoulders, bending so he was practically eye level with me.
I looked away. I didn’t need this right now. Not now. Not after everything else…
“What’s everything? Because the way I see it, there’s nothing. Very little.” I paused, “My mother hates me, my father hates me, my brothers hate me, my sisters hate me, but like hell will they let me leave! How much more of this do you think I can take Charlie? How much more of this do you think I can handle before it all gets too much? I’m sick of it Char, I’m sick of being my fathers personal punch bag, the one that my mother comes to to bitch about all the shit that’s going on. You think I like having to spend every goddamned day of my life being told I’m a worthless piece of shit that no one cares about and that everyone wishes I wasn’t born? You think I enjoy listening to my mother call me a disappointment and a mistake? Or my sister repeatedly calling me a freak that should go get shot and never come back!? I like all this shit do I Charlie!? I want to have to put up with that for the rest of my goddamned life?! I can’t leave. As much as they hate me they’ll never let me leave. It’s too much ‘fun’ having me around.” I finished sarcastically.
Charlie looked at me, you could see his brain ticking as he tried to think of what to say as he bit gently on the side of his lower lip as he always did.
“Perhaps they won’t willingly let you leave, but if you just left, I don’t see them making the effort to get you back…”
It was the truth, but it still stung to hear it from someone else. It just went to show how much about me Charlie really knew…
Charlie hugged me, “I know this sound insane and you’ll probably think I’m mad and completely nuts, but hear me out.” He pulled back and looked at me, eyes sparkling. I worried about what he was going to say, just from what he’d said… “I can change your life, in a way that your father will never be able to hurt you again.”
I looked at him and raised an eyebrow. “What the hell are you on about?”
“You know how sometimes I just disappear, and there’re night when I’m no where to be found? How some times I just appear seemingly out of the blue, and how most the time I always seem to know where I’m going? There’s a reason for that Jez. You’ve always known I’ve got some deep dark secret that you don’t know about, that really I shouldn’t tell you about, but I might, but…. Okay I’m blabbering.”He laughed, “What I’m trying to say, is that I can share that secret with you, and turn your life around… if it works, you won’t have to worry about your father again. Or your mother or anyone. You’ll be able to fight back… to get away… to…”
“What are you talking about Charlie? Nothing you can do can make this stop. Noth—“
He grabbed my shoulders tighter, “You’re not listening to me...” He sighed and looked around, “I don’t know how to explain… just… you’d need to trust me…”
“I do trust you Charlie, you know I do.” I whispered.
“Then just say the words. Tell me you want me to do this… say that you want it.”
I closed my eyes, “Want what Charlie? You haven’t even told me what it is.”
“Just trust me Jez!” My eyes flew open as he practically shouted it. Then his voice turned to a whisper, “trust me.”
I breathed deeply, “Do it.”