I stare at my reflection in the large mirror that overtakes the left wall of my bathroom. My hair is loose and longer than it was at the beginning of the school year. My eyes are tired from my sleepless night and my frame appears fragile.
Bile crawls up slowly up my throat and my body convulses as I let out my night's worries into the toilet that sits patiently waiting. Pamela's voice hits me from downstairs and I wash my mouth out quickly, ignoring the throbbing of my head. I grab my bag from beside my desk and grab my lunch from the kitchen table downstairs, within seconds of my hand wrapping itself around the lunch bag Pamela pops out of nowhere ready with the usual questions.
"Hi sweetie, how are you feeling this morning?" She asks expectantly, I can tell that she is secretly hoping that I will open up to her and tell her something super private today. No go, sorry Pamela.
"I'm fine and I'm going to be late." I say and head for the door.
"You would tell me right?" She says suddenly, stopping me mid-step. "You would tell me if something is wrong, right Jenna?"
I nod slowly; I don't want to give her any hints that may help her solve the puzzle later.
"You're so pale this morning, are you catching the flu?"
I sigh and say, "No mom, I am fine, I'll see you later." I open the door and head outside into the cold morning and feel myself involuntarily shiver as I force down more wretched truths that I hide in my heart.
Pamela quickly opens the door that I had just closed and shouts at me, seeing as to how far my legs had taken me in order to get away from her questions, "Jenna! I almost forgot," I continue walking, ignoring her, "You had a phone call this morning—I think he said his name was Tommy?"
I freeze and feel the disgust of my past wrenching its way through my throat and into my mouth as my past disgrace is strewn onto the cold pavement under me.