This was the last written words of Vivian Adams on her Jasmine purple diary found under her pillow when she died. 

"I'm so sorry for ruining the correct order in life. I'm so sorry for cursing my own self. I'm sorry I entered the forbidden unseen world of the undergrounds. I'm sorry for worshiping the enemy of God. I'm sorry for all the rosaries and religious statues of Christianity. I destroyed. I'm sorry making the sign of the cross in reverse in churches. I'm sorry at my 25th birthday, I sold myself to the devil and natural disasters happened. Even if I'm not sure if it was my fault,

A flashback came into her mind....

She was walking alone in the dark one night, suddenly she uttered...

"I swear, I'll do everything just to get what I want in my life, I've suffered enough from all the  experiences I've had in my entire life, that right now, I swear, I'll sell myself to the devil"... I looked up in the sky.... I hate you.... You are never real!"

Then huge drops of rain poured down from the sky, and then there was thunder after lightning.

" An earthquake shook the grounds of the earth, the wind blew strong and flood began. Innocent people didn't knew what was happening. They thought it was just because of the climate change. Some people prayed, but almost all didn't cared for they believe that natural disasters happens because of science, and the worldwide government solved each nation's problem through technology."



"Oh! God! What have I done? Please forgive me...  God the Father Almighty Above"

I fully accept this incurable disease... for I am worthy to suffer for Betraying you oh! God. I am willing to die for my own sins with this pain killing me slowly suffering with Aids.... slowly dying.... I am willing to pay for my sins. "I'm sorry for all my lies". But before I die. Will repent for my sins Oh! God. I know I am not welcome in Heaven for after reading the bible... I have seen the truth... For I have disobeyed The 10 Commandments Of You Our! God.


In the Name of the Father and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, Amen."

 Oh my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all my sins, because I dread the loss of heaven, and the pains of hell; but most of all because they offend Thee, my God, Who are all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of Thy grace, to confess my sins, to do penance, and to amend my life. Amen.

 "Prayer to St. Michael"

 Saint Michael the Arc angel defend us in battle. Be our defense against the wickedness and the snares of the evil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray and do thou, O prince of the Heavenly Host, by the power of God, cast into hell, Satan and all the evil spirits who prowl throughout the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen

 "The Allegiance Prayer"

 Dear God in Heaven, I pledge my allegiance to You. I give You my life, my work and my heart. In turn, give me the grace of obeying Your everyday direction to the fullest possible extent. Amen.

  "My Own Prayer"

 Dear God, and in the name of Jesus, I know I am not worthy for your love but I know deep inside my heart that You are our forgiving God. And no matter how many times I have betrayed You, I believe that you are so humble and I will have faith that I still have a place in You. And wherever I may go, I am ready to repent for my sins. I wont promise that I will not sin anymore, because i can never be perfect as You are because You are our God, and I am just a human given life by You. Teach me how to become wiser. Lead me into becoming a better person. I am asking for Your forgiveness for all of my sins. Have mercy in me. God I know you are merciful. Only You God knows the truth. Only You God can read my mind.  My thoughts. My experiences. And my life. Clean me Oh! Lord Jesus Christ the Son of God in Heaven. Clean my mind Oh! God. Please God! I believe in miracles for you are powerful. Clean me God, clean my soul. clean my mind. Take away all the dirt in me. Oh God make me worthy, erase all the bad memories in me that makes me become a rebel. Clean my thoughts, Clean my mind. Please make me strong. Strong enough to get rid of the demons dwelling inside me. If its demon or if its only me. Clean my soul, please God. Clean me God! Clean my thoughts, clean my mind. I am feeling tired God, but I know I still have to fight. Fight form my own battle running inside my own thoughts, Oh God. Take away my anger. I don't want to feel mad like this right now,, Please God I believe in You, Help me God, Give me more strength to have more faith in You. Take away my doubts. Take away all the bitterness inside of me. I remembered my dream when you hugged me God. Even if it was just a dream, I know God, that you were the one who had given me that dream. For me to feel that you are real. That I am not losing my sanity. And if i am. I accept it God. I will accept whatever judgement you will give me. I will accept it, God. You know what is best for me. I will accept whatever sufferings you may give me so that I could repent for my sins. I feel sorry for myself God for doubting You but I will do my best to become worthy of you. God and Jesus.... I trust in You.  Amen






The End

3 comments about this story Feed