I thought I became a good girl again. Concentrated with my studies and joined the writing club".
I wrote what I had in mind to tell the young ones to be careful with what they do. And be wise in choosing friends and never take drugs. I was like a nerd when I went back to study. I don't hang out with my friends and classmates. I don't have boyfriends and I usually stay at home and just study and entered social sites to take away the boredom I felt, being afraid of that memorable experience. I swear, it will never happen again. Really!
When I went to college I was 19 . I had fun again. I met new friends who were in a band. We hang out and jam. They play music in some bars and have a couple of gigs where they bring me without paying for anything. They asked me if I can sing. I said, "I do love to listen to music and sing along but i wasn't sure if my voice is worth hearing, but Yes!".
"Begining to become famous wanna be with a mind fed up with idolatry and exploitation"
Suddenly out of nowhere, i said yes. My voice didn't sounded that good but I became a part of their band doing the back up singer. I was fine with that. I never expected becoming a singer actually, but i do love music a lot. Then I met the man whom I want to spend my life with. He was part of the band playing the bass guitar. He was so nice and cool to be with. My parents doesn't like him. But I enjoy life being with him. So I ran away from home and lived with him.
"I FELL IN LOVE WITH MUSIC AND USED THEM AS INSPIRATIONAL TOOLS THAT MISLEAD ME MORE LIKE BEING HYPNOTIZED BY THE WRONG MUSIC"
Because of that, I wasn't able to finish my studies. We were so deeply inlove as if there was always a love song background in our everyday scene. We really loved each other. Soon i went home with him and told my parents that we are getting married. My parents can not do anything about it anymore, because I already lived with him, and chose to stay with him, so we got married and everything went legal. I got pregnant with a boy and he treated me like a queen. I was a happy pregnant lady, after 9 months of waiting, I gave birth to our son, that became like a prince in our home. I thought of it that way. But my happiness didn't last.
When I gave birth, he stopped playing the guitar. He doesn't earned enough to raise us both, his wife and his child.
We rented our own house and paid for our own bills. He paid for everything with his own monthly salary from his new job. He was a real estate agent. He sold houses for the company he was working for but he never had his own house. But it was okay. I loved him anyway. When our son grew, more financial needs came along in our lives. His salary wasn't enough to get all our needs so I decided to get a job. But I was so unlucky "I didn't graduated college that time because I got married early at the age of 20.
After 2 yrs. of taking care of our son, I asked him if I could go back to college again and finish my studies. Good thing! He has a friend who became an admin in a college institute, so I grabbed the chance. I went back to college again.
"Temptations were never easy for me to resist maybe because I doubted God?"
At the age of 22, I still had a crush on my professor. Oooh! looks interesting. He was gorgeous and i can't wait to get my hands on him. I was always eager to attend classes and participate well in his class. And I'm telling you. Each time he opens his mouth to discuss, I was always inside a daydream. I searched on facebook what he likes, if he is still single and stalked him there. See! on facebook without being close to a person in reality, you can be , on the internet. So I checked on him to know more about him. And during class, I always smile at him, and always look beautiful in his eyes. Until he notice me. I knew he also liked me. But it can't be because I was already married and he already has a girlfriend. He was just 4 times older than I was that is why I knew he would like me too. i knew he did for sure. Sometimes while discussing, I stare at him and he stares back at me. And i was l fantasizing about him with dirty thoughts going on my mind. Hmmm... yummy ! hahahahaha... giggling devil like laughs inside.
"MY MIND WAS FILLED WITH DIRTY THOUGHTS, MY EARS WERE DEAF WITH THE DEMONS' WHISPERS AND I IGNORED THE ANGELS Of GOD'S TOUCH ON MY SHOULDERS"
Then i was imagining and imagining until one time, he just sat beside me, like a student as well. He talked to me. Soon when we got close and became friends, my fantasies about him suddenly just faded. And thank goodness even if I’m not so smart, He passed my exams, projects, term papers and thesis. He gave me good grades. And sometimes he teaches me one on one. But swear! I never flirted with him until i graduated. And my husband was so happy.
Aha! Finally! I can help him with our money problems. And I can take good care of our son again. How i missed him so much. I was such a perfect mother and a wife in our happy family. Not until I applied for a job. And that was the start of our never ending jealousies and quarrels. Our marriage life became unhapy filled with physical and emotional pain till i became "numb" and felt nothing at all. I KNOW I STILL HAVE MY SECOND CHANCE.