Here is what I know. And I hope we can keep this confidential. This is a small town and you will understand that the privacy of my identity is only intended to protect me and my cat, Mrs. Fritz, from any terrible miscomings.
Because what I do not know about James McFarley is enough to peter myself out into the darkest imaginings. Having read your request for information, I have been awake for too long with my blinds drawn and the television set blaring so as to repel even the boldest of intruders.
I am teller at the local Shire bank. Because there are only two of us, you will understand that I do not tell you the color of my hair.
I have taken it upon myself to keep an open eye for this man as he, in my opinion seems to be an unscrupulous character of such malignant tendencies that his apprehension seems the only possible way to keep our fair citizens away from the inevitable harm this mercenary will bring to our community.
And so I bare all. On around Sunday, September the 5th at approximately 9:57 am (I know this because I was about to head off for my ten o'clock coffee), a man dressed in a black suit and a black hat approached me at my wicket.
I had never seen him before and of course was filled with a most paralyzing fear. He put forth his identification stating his name was Norman Mills and proceeded to withdraw thrity three dollars. He claimed he had a phone bill to pay. I, of course, was skeptical, but not wanting to tip him off of my initial alarm, completed the transaction with such expediency that he would not notice my tremblinghands.
If I can help keep this obvious madman off of our streets, then I have received all the reward I need.
Godspeed, people! Godspeed!
PS My email program automatically puts my name at the bottom. Can you please find a way to erase that? Thanks with a happy capital T!