The arystokat loomed dubiously behind Jack's shoulder, toothy grin and glinting eyes smiling deliciously.

Of course, such a sight caused Jack to start.

"Whoash!" he exclaimed, but not really, as there are a few letters missing from that exclamation.

The 'kat simply grinned.

"Who are-? What are-? Why are-?" Jack started to stutter, never stumbling far enough to finish.

"Quiet, you," the arystokat finally spoke, brows knitting in a wrinkled heap of anger. "Un-don thy fedora, post haste!"

Now it was Jack's turn to sit in silence.

"Good sir I beseech you to remove said headgear at once!" the arystokat, feline-form still floating, implored.

Reluctantly obliging, Jack found a voice to ask, "Aren't you a cheshirecat?"

The cat - or kat - cackled with gleeful laughter. "I prithee mean the cheshirecat?"

"Sure," Jack shrugged.

The laughter suddenly stopped. "No. The good cheshirecat, though he be distance relative many times removed, is not I."

"Then you are..."

"I am the arystokat!" it finished, without pause.

Something clicked somewhere in Jack's mind. "You're missing an R somewhere. And that's spelled with a zero, right?"

"Blasphemy!" fumed the arystokat. "Though it may matter not to the unenlightened fool how I doth render mine name, the matter is of paramount principle to me!"

"Riiiiiiight," Jack muttered. "I'm'a go this way now."

And so he did go that way, choosing now to chase the squirrels he had once sought to shoot.

The End

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