Even though Rae was my best friend, it still made me nervous to tell her what was happening. My mom had already been divorced twice, but Rae hadn't know much about those since we were both three at the time of the second one. I was really starting to get nervous by the time we had gone downstairs to her room and I had flopped myself heavily on her bed. She was just snatching the mini-chocolate bars from the top shelf in her giant walk-in closet when i oh so casually said, "Hey, so I have some news for ya."
She stretched out on the bed beside me and began to nibble on a piece of chocolate as she said, "Oh really, and what is that?"
"Well," I began. She could already hear the anxiety in my voice and looked up from her candy and to shoot me a questioning look. "Mom is getting a divorce. Grammy said we could move in with her and Papa, but I think that would hurt Mom's pride too much, so we're going apartment shopping tomorrow and I'm really worried. Not just about myself and my sanity, but about Mom and Victoria." I don't think I paused barely once. I just wanted to get the hard part over with.
She didn't jump up to hug me, or begin tearing up, or even look at me for a moment. I didn't expect her to do any of these things though. This was how she handled things and it was one of things I loved most about her. When she knew what she said really mattered, she took a moment to really, really think about what she was going to say. I braced myself for some brutal honesty.
Suddenly she did something I wasn't really expecting. She grabbed the big bag of chocolate bars and started throwing them at the wall.
"I cannot believe this is happening right now!!" She, for lack of a better word, screamed. "All your mom ever cares about is herself! Did she even consider you or Tori when she went off and married this guy?! Or now, when she is just going to give up and make you guys "start fresh"?! I mean come on, again? Really??"
It would be safe to say this wasn't exactly the reaction I was expecting. I knew she wouldn't neccesarily be happy with my mother, since she felt she could be rather selfish sometimes, but I can't say I disagreed with the things she said.
It was true my mom had dropped me and Tori off at Rae's house for a weekend. When she came back she stepped aside to reveal a tall man with curly hair carrying her bags. He seemed to be taking an awful long time to set them down and leave. That's when she smiled and said she had met someone at a club and it had been love at first sight. So that's why the cab driver wasn't leaving...
Fast forward to four years later and the cab driver, actually not a cab driver, but a teacher named Tim, and I had become pretty close friends. Over that past few months though, that friendship had slowly disappeared as the arguments between him and my mom had sufficiently increased.
As we were driving home after what had been a very productive few hours at Rae Ann's, I couldn't help but feel guilty I wasnt telling Ryan anything about this. Rae had told me that just because he's my boyfriend he didn't have to know just yet. That it was my personal life and it was my decision to share. My stomach was still kind of knotty from the guilt though....