It's Just a Matter of Time

When the idea came to her, Mildred was amazed that she hadn't thought of it before. It was a Monday morning. It was November. Homer sat across the table from her eating cereal. He was crunching so loudly, it sounded like a garbage disposal grinding dried corn.

That was the morning she decided to kill Homer. At first blush she had shied away from the idea, but then watching him chew his breakfast with his mouth open, she shuttered and began to embrace the idea of his demise.

However, she had no desire to spend the rest of her life in prison, so she would have to devise a clever plan. As Homer slurped his coffee, Mildred smiled. She was thinking of all the different ways she could kill him. She could poison him, run him down with the car, accidentally shoot him....

"Mildred! Earth to Mildred." Homer said.

Mildred's smiled melted. "What Homer?"

Homer plucked a piece of cereal from his three-day growth of beard. "I swear, all you do all day is daydream. I need you to pick up some more cereal. And get the oat crunchy kind. I don't like flakes, they get soggy."

The End

16 comments about this story Feed