It's a story about two friends Samantha and Sharon, who separate when they are young only to meet again after twelve odd years when one of them is dying.. With time running out for her, both try to solve their differences.. and teach each other how to live.. and how to die.
'I'm dying Samantha.. I need you now.. I really do.'
I read over and over again. It was the last line to a terribly long e-mail. It was from my childhood friend. We haven't spoken to each other since twelve years, but thinking about it, about her, still makes me wince, like it's a wound that hasn't healed completely yet. So, talking about it, is like scratching on it. It hurt. I was angry at Sharon. Maybe she deserved to be alone now. It was all her fault anyway. It was her fault that we fought that night, that we said stuff we did not mean, things that we said without thinking. Leaped before looking. The moment comes back vividly, like a movie on a high definition TV screen. There was a lot of swearing, then calling each other names, then pushing and poking, then crying, then shouting while crying, and in the end, slamming the door. It was a deafening silence. The night wasn't easy to bear, either. I could hear her weeping, and even though I wanted to reach out and make it all okay, my Ego inflated. He just wouldn't allow me. Ego said that Shar was wrong, so she should be the one to apologize, right? But she didn't. So be it. Thinking too much always makes me sleepy, but I hadn't planned to sleep that night. But I did. I didn't even know when I fell asleep. When I woke up, she was gone. Just a note that said that she was going. Like, I wouldn't have known after seeing her empty room, anyway. Guilt ate me up then. She said that since Sharon paid for the apartment we were living in, I should've been the one to leave. So I left too. One thing that I was damn sure of was she won't contact me ever again.
Some times we have to let go of the merry-go-round spun by those who come into our lives and change it so freakin' immensely that it moves around at such speed that unless we let go, we'll be stuck on it forever, spinning wildly. Maybe the time had come for me to let go. I pushed these thoughts in a cupboard already overflowing with other issues that needed solutions, issues I had decided to think about.. later. That was when I started making a life of my own, on my own. I found a job as a junior sales person at the Fashion Mart right down the street from my new apartment. I got new friends, but I never got too close to any of them. I was too scared of the merry-go-round. I joined singing classes, so I could nurture my talent, and find a vent. In due course of time, I changed jobs, apartments, friends, boyfriends and I changed myself accordingly. Every time. It was like a habit now. I varied with the person I was talking to. The point is, I had moved on.. well, more or less, anyway. She, clearly couldn't, which is why she needed me now. I was secretly happy that she chose me. But, still. That doesn't clear out previous misunderstandings. She had written down her address, but there was no number that I could reach her on. Ego was the reason I had lost so much in life. I wasn't going to let him have a say in this, for once. Oh, and by the way, since I was my own boss, I decided that it was time for me to go on a vacation to meet an old friend. An old friend who needed my help.
Looking outside the window, I saw smoke in the distance. Maybe it was Ego, burning itself away. Being the masochist that he is, I would expect him to do this. Smugly, I decided to pack my bags as I shut my computer down after booking a plane ticket to Florida, where she lived.