Fired Up

"P3... I... I won't-" The breathy voice on the phone pushed out the words. Kingsley blinked looking again down at the screen of the smart phone to make sure he'd read the caller ID right. Though he couldn't see why he bothered since only one person called him P3. Such a pained voice though didn't make sense to be coming from the infamous thief Sagi.

"What is going on?" He spoke quickly as a panic started to build. Panic and fear. Sagi was strong as he'd seen, who or what could possibly have left her in such dire straights. He couldn't even begin to imagine.

"I won't make it." Sagi gasped. "I'm gonna, uuuuuurgh, I'm-"

"Hey! Hey!" Kingsley dug through his pockets for the tracking device. He could find out her location and call reinforcements and medical help to it. Hopefully he

"I'm dying...."

"No, no you aren't. I'll find you and get help so just-"

"Of... boredom."

"... ... ... You realize this is my one day off. For the month." Kingsley said more calmly than he felt. The shouting earlier was drawing attention from all the other people in the theater lobby. That wasn't so bad. The girl he had brought out with was giving him a really peculiar look which definitely told him not to expect getting a second date. "You're actively trying to ruin my life aren't you?"

"P3, I'm serious. It's just... just to boring. I am in literal pain. Help." Indeed just listening to the voice and tone it did sound like the girl was in mortal peril.

"Has anyone told you you should take up acting? Maybe then when I finally have another day off and go to the movies you can ruin that day too by having your face all over the big screen." Kingsley was so fed up with this at this point. Parole point partnerships were very life consuming. Everywhere one went the other went. You lived, slept, and ate together. Especially for a charge like Sagi. So when he did get his one day off a month Sagi had to be locked away at his home in a special containment room with strict restrictions on what she could have in there with her.

"Heeeeey, that doesn't sound to bad. But you know I like to personally experience your suffering so I don't know if that'd work for me." All pain and suffering was gone. Now she just sounded bored and idle.

"So you admit you're trying to ruin my life?"

"Ruin? Naaaaaaah, dat ain't me bra. You're mah bro, bro. Our bond is deeper and wider than a back yard kiddie pool ya' know?"

"Pick one accent and stick with it. I'm hanging up."

"But I'm booooooooored. Bring me something. You have toooooo."

"No. Don't call me again." Kingsley hit the end button with as much force as he could get into the action. That person, that nonsensical person. She always seemed to manage to push his buttons so well!

"Um, excuse me." The girl he was on a date with avoided making eye contact as she spoke to him. This couldn't be good. "Look it was nice to go out with you and all but... I mean, you shouldn't go on dates with other girls just because your relationship with your girlfriend is in a rough place. You should go back and talk things over clearly with her. Don't worry about me, I'll head home by myself now. Thanks for today, bye."

Bzzzt. Bzzzzt.

"Hello, Kingsley speaking."

"Hey, hey P3. Do you ever have those moments where you just want to watch the world burn? Cause I don't really want to watch it burn, but it is."


"Everything is on fire."

".... Of course it is."


"So please explain to me how it was physically possible in the contained and highly regulated restriction room you managed to actually start a fire big enough to burn down the room without setting off the fire alarms?" Kingsley huffed setting down the fire extinguisher. The damage wasn't too terrible. Mainly it was just the restriction room that got burnt. Originally a pristine white room bare of little else besides a small drawer and a bed with a connecting door to a simple restroom. Now the door was only a shell and the white had all been turned black. There was no sign of the drawer or mattress of the bed anymore. The fire had only just touched a little of the rest of the house since the walls and door had all been greatly reinforced. Char marks along the door frame was pretty much it. Such a sharp difference from the total destruction inside the room.

"Ah, I turned those off." Sagi proclaimed proudly pointing at her chest wit her thumb.

"Don't be happy about that!" Kingsley shouted. Ah he wanted to hit her. He'd never in his entirely life ever even considered hitting a woman but right now.... He wanted to hit her so badly!

"Oh come on, what's a fire or two between friends."

"You are not a woman." That was it, that was why he was straying from his normal mentality. He could not see this thing as a woman. "No, you're not even human."

"Gasp! Could I be an alien!" Sagi said theatrically from her perch upon what was left of the bed frame. She seemed determined not to actually

"That would make far too much sense." Kingsley sighed, his anger beginning to abate. He really was a pacifist deep down after all. Those applying to be parole point partners went through extensive personality tests and mental evaluations. People who were selected were generally slow to anger, calm, rational, and unlikely to panic. In general mentally stable so as not to be too intimidated or angered by unruly charges. Kingsley was one of the best at that. Sagi though was on a completely different level from anyone he'd been paired with before. "Anyway with the room like this it is going to have to be repaired before it can be used again. We'll have to get a technician in here to see if the wiring and sensors are okay."

Past just being reinforced walls they were interlaid with sensors and other tools to make sure the inhabitant couldn't leave and cause trouble without their parole point partner to monitor them. Musing on it Kingsley wondered if they were how Sagi managed to start the fire in the first place. He wouldn't put it past her.

The thief Sagi had become legend years ago. Thefts of jewels, art, money were one thing. She also had been known to target technology and information that was outright dangerous in the wrong hands. Of course you would think a well known thief would be immediately captured, it wasn't good for a criminal to be known by men, women, and children everywhere. But that was part of what built her fearsome reputation. She'd announce what she was after before stealing it, and brag about her success after despite the best efforts of police and private security alike. It seemed no matter what anyone did no one could find and capture the thief.

For awhile she was constantly making headlines but then she completely disappeared. No more thefts, no more announcements, nothing. This continued for quite a while. Kingsley had all but forgotten about the infamous thief when he'd shown up at the parole office and she'd been sitting there waiting for him as his next charge. When first introduced as /that/ Sagi he hadn't believed it. Sagi had been a figure of ultimate mystery. Each time the thief appeared voice, age, gender, looks, everything had been different. Disguise had always been one of the most legendary parts of Sagi's legend. Only one photo existed of what could be called Sagi's real face. Blurry and out of focus, obviously taken in motion, the thin cosmetic mask was being ripped off of the face and revealing a crane marking on the skin below. That photo had been the most famous since it was the one of the closest anyone ever got to catching Sagi. So despite the fact that Sagi was known as a master of disguise everyone associated the thief with the crane marking on its cheek. So to come into the office and be told that this androgynous girl with nothing on her cheek was Sagi he hadn't believed it. He even said upfront she was the worst Sagi impersonator they'd had to date, they'd certainly had a lot. He could still remember how she'd reacted.

"Pffft! If I'm the worst Sagi impersonator you've ever seen then I am the best one." The girl sniggered, waving a finger in the air like she was conducting some silent orchestra. She managed it with surprising grace considering they were handcuffed together. "Or hey, maybe I just really am the real deal. Do you think it's possible?"

Kingsley ignored the miscreant and gave the Director a pointed look. "Go outside the door, don't cause trouble." The older man said to the girl. She stuck out her tongue but stood up, heading just outside the glass door.

"You've got to be kidding boss, she doesn't even look old enough let alone all the other reasons why that seems ridiculous. This is just another runaway punk thinking it's cool to make trouble right?" Kingsley protested. "You can't feed their mischief."

"You think that way too right?" The Director sighed, putting a hand over his eyes to rub his temples. "But that really is the Sagi."

"How could she possibly be? Even if she was, how in the world was she caught? There's no concrete information about Sagi to go off of for the arrest. Least not that I knew, was there a break in the case?" Kingsley asked curious, and still not quite willing to believe that the scrawny thing was a internationally renowned figure of mystery and crime.

"No, she turned herself in. Just showed up and confessed to being Sagi. Her exact words were, 'I waited for divine judgement for my sins but it was taking it's time coming so figured I'd go ahead and let you humans judge me instead.' Such an attitude." The Director put down the file he read the quote off and sighed again. "The whole thing has been a huge headache for everyone and the girl certainly seems to be trying her hardest to just make it worse. No, don't say anything. As much as we could confirm what she says really does check out. She does in fact seem to be Sagi. Her confession completely matches without any holes. There's still not real proof, but there's no proof it isn't her either so legally the confession counts."

"And that's all she's got pinning the crimes on her?" Kingsley said in disbelief.

"Well, she also has the marking." The Director didn't need to specify which one. "Right now she's covered it up. Though I don't know how since we confiscated everything of hers that could have been used to do so when she first came in. Though it does make less of a scene to have her cover that up. We don't want to make a big announcement to the media about this. After all we didn't actually catch her, and if it turns out she is a fake it will be less embarrassing for us when the truth comes out."

"Not to mention keep the obsessed ones and other morons from doing something stupid." Kingsley said. Famous criminals could be some of the worst to work with since they'd attract 'fans' who idolized them for their crimes. It was annoying and sometimes dangerous. Though all criminals could be dangerous to stay with since victims would sometimes come for revenge. Many criminals who engaged in more serious crimes were forced to relocate to another area to avoid such occurrences, those with just petty and fairly victimless crimes were left where they were. "But sir, if she really is that Sagi, how can we keep it quiet? And why was she sent to our office? I mean sure theft is a mid risk level offense but, this is Sagi." Kingsley stressed again the potential identity of the girl. Their department dealt wasn't the buff muscle heads in the high risk offense parole office. Those guys were given the killers and dangerous people. His office was given the tricky and troublesome people. Thieves, scam artists, drug dealers. Not that some of them weren't given to violent tendencies but they retained enough smarts to know it wouldn't do them any good to attack, not while they still had their parole anklet strapped to them.

"Fame isn't one of the factors that comes to play when deciding parole point partner. Despite the scale and number of the crimes none of them ever lead to a death. Sagi's hands are free of blood, there were barely ever even cases of assault. Just a few knocked out guards sometimes." The Director waved at the large number of papers on his desk, all of them apparently from Sagi's file detailing the crimes. "The law is very clear and despite the absurdity of it she was sent here to our office."

"And you called me in to get assigned to her." Kingsley said with a resigned air about him.

"You are one of our better officers. Your cases rarely case trouble and you handle them calmly and stay composed. Which from what I've seen of the girl so far is any indication you are going to need." That couldn't bode well. Kingsley had nothing left to say, just frowned slightly, so the Director waved to one of the guards outside who had several white globs that looked an awful lot like spitballs stuck to his face. The door was opened and the girl came flouncing back in looking utterly innocent.

As the Director gathered the papers back into one very thick file he started reading through the standard assignment information and rights and restrictions as a parolee. Kingsley took the time to try and get a more thorough inspection of the girl but she still looked like nothing special. Those super pale eyes and mess of a haircut made her look a little deranged but nothing like what he imagined a thief at Sagi's level to look like. He'd even believe a super plain, doesn't stand out in the slightest middle aged man before this girl. Blending in and being unnoticeable was thief like even with a showy thief like Sagi since Sagi was able to disappear so completely. But this girl? You'd remember her if you saw her simply because her appearance was so jarring to the eyes.

"Rightrightright." The girl, Sagi he guessed, interrupted speaking rapidly while chewing on something, Kingsley would bet it was whatever had been used to make those spitballs earlier. "I agree or understand or whatever I'm supposed to say at the end of this boring speech. Just give him my shiny new remote control and lets get out of here. He is my new parole point p something right? Otherwise he wouldn't be in here."

"Yes." The Director answered looking annoyed. He handed the reorganized file to Kingsley as well as the locator-controller for the anklet. "This will be your parole points partner, or PPP for short, Joshua Kingsley. With this you are officially no longer held by the court and begin your parole."

"Sweet! Now I can stop pretending to be locked in these handcuffs!" Sagi said swinging her arms up in the air, the cuffs already fallen uselessly to the ground. "PPP and that whatever was your name is still too long, I'mma just call you P3."

Yes, that was his first meeting with Sagi. Since then his life had only become more and more frustrating and difficult. She rarely ever actually worked toward earning points for her release from parole (possibly in part because the number was honestly so high she'd have to save an entire city from terrorist attack or something to clear it) or entering any work programs for parolees that were offered for them to start earning money. She instead just begged food off Kingsley and scrounged up small bills through various stunts. The only times he'd seen her actually work to clear her parole points was when there was also a monetary reward like the thief a few nights ago and even then she didn't always act. He could never figure out what drove her or what she might be thinking and he'd almost completely given up trying to.

"So why was the room on fire?" Almost completely.

"Because it was made of burnable materials?" Sagi said as she bent down till her hands touched the floor then lifted her body up into a handstand and begun to walk in that fashion about the room, jacket trailing on the ground behind her getting covered in ashes. Her shirt at least was tight enough not to roll up her chest.

"You know what I meant, how did it happen?" Kingsley said trying to let go of his frustration and anger at her attitude.

"How did the room get made of burnable materials? Well that's a question that's better for the building owner to address." She said lifting up one arm to start making odd shapes, occasionally jumping up to switch which hand she used to support herself.

"Forget it. I'll call this in." Kingsley grumbled leaving the room, pushing a foot out of his face.

"Noooo, come baaaack. I want to see if I can pick your nose with my toe."
 Sagi said unenthusiastically. "Well I guess I can pick my own nose with my toe..." Kingsley couldn't help but glance back as the girl began to contort her body in an incredible display of flexibility but as her foot did indeed reach her nose he had to look away not wanting to know is she succeeded or not. Instead he focused on calling his the parole office.

"Kingsley, I was just about to call you." The Director's voice quickly answered. Kingsley blinked in surprise.

"You were?" He couldn't imagine what would cause that. Unless there was a problem, like the restriction room burning down, generally the PPP and the office only communicated through emailed weekly reports.

"Yes, there's been an incident and its been requested that you take Sagi to check it out and help in the investigation. I know its your day off, you'd be given overtime pay and Sagi would receive parole points of course."

"I'd have to ask her, what exactly happened?" Kingsley said glancing back at Sagi wondering if she would accept a job. If the office was calling asking for them it had to be serious, or at least very strange. He could use that to try and tempt her into it.

"Well, there's been a fire."

"... Come again?"

The End

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