she moved slowly. each step heavy but light. people noticed her. she noticed no one. trying to find the deeper meaning in life she placed her bag on the table and slid into the adjoining chair. "can you bounce back?" she asked herself? her chest felt like lead had been placed on it, her head was numb. " yes " she told herself if not them then others, " i will not let myself become an antisocial loser."
"hey how you doing" someone asked.
" great" she answered " i'm doing really great"
lets pedal back two years when she was free of all worries. when people asked her what they should do with their lives, when people trusted her blindly. when she knew how exactly what she wanted from life. when life was better
this is the tough part to write....the good part when in your in such bad times yourself. i'll do my best though.
as she entered school her posse of friends moved towards her. she greeted all of them graciously. taking for granted that she probably looked good so would find friends everywhere. she spoke to boys occasionally. when one would sit next to her and show a slight interest....she would reciprocate to an extent. sometimes crushing on those guys but nothing major. then one day her teacher shifted her place and she was sitting next to a boy who she had heard of from one of her friends. her friend believed he had a funny name. she thought so too.
"do you have a pen i could borrow?" he asked
uptil then she was completely unaware of his existence.
he kept her pen for the whole day. at the end of the day he returned it with a fleeting " thanks"
she took it without a word and went to join her friends.
this continued till the end of that year. they parted in summer and she didn't think of him all summer. she didn't even know slightly how much he might be thinking of her.
on the first day of ninth grade, she noticed he was in her class. she also noticed the other 43 children in the same way. her very best friend joined her class as an unexpected transfer from another class. she was ecstatic. at least there was someone she knew.
first term passed like a breeze and then their class teacher shifted to another section so they got a new teacher.
it was all the same, teachers or no teachers, nobody studied in school. her new teacher took a liking to her and shifted her to the very first bench in the class
"but miss! i promise i won't talk" she proclaimed trying to salvage her cosy seat on the last bench.
"thats what you told me last time. you can sit there today, tommorow i want you in front of my eyes."
"whatever" she muttered loud enough so that the people in the few benches aorund her stifled a laugh.
" i can't believe she's doing this to me!" she told her very best friend after school.
" don't worry i'll walk up the distance to meet you in the front" her friend assured her.
she laughed in reply.
" can i borrow a pen" he asked her
she threw the pen behind her and he caught it swiftly.
her new position in class had stationed her directly in front of him.
with noone to talk to around her, isolated from her friends at the back, she would often talk to him. not seriously, just in passing. god knows what she told him. but he developed feelings for her.