Adventures of Zho: Quest for Quids!

Pfffblblbablub! Zho blew his scraggly hair from his face, the odd hair clinging to his tongue. Not a cling valiant enough to truly pester him, but enough to send him into a facial spasm and repeated hitting of himself. With his clumsy swagger, Zho walked out of the women’s toilets feeling refreshed and somewhat cheeky. Exactly the mood he needed if he was to find a job today.

On a wall outside was a poster, a poster that thoroughly suited his needs! For this poster advertised a job. It had been a long time since Zho had done a hard day's work as there simply wasn't the opportunity to do so. For the Island of Jaffy was heavily entrenched in the cultivation of it's national fruit - the Jaffy fruit. The effects of the jaffy fruit were well known around the World, the consumer feeling inexplicable happiness and even moments of euphoria. Because of this, people would often utilise the fruit at dinner parties in their pre-dinner wine, their starters, as part of the salad of the main course, and as part of a Jaffy Surprise for desert - which really was quite surprising after digesting so much jaffy fruit beforehand.

'Become a farmer!' people would tell Zho, for surely the monthly allowance of jaffy they give you wouldn't go amiss. But sadly Zho did not fancy his prospects as a farmer, because if you were caught taking more than your quota you would be sent to the Island of Naughties! Zho is not a man of shady qualities, he is a man of simple ones and so remembering how much fruit he's taken and allowed to take is a truly arduous task. 'It seems strange that such a wonderful, abundant fruit isn't just free for everybody,' Zho would often think to himself. 'But that's just the world,' he'd resolve somewhat philosophically.

And so he sought opportunities that many perhaps didn't consider. One day when strolling down a dusty path Zho came across a man frantically tugging at the reins of his camel, cursing many Gods - old, new and the just-created-for-this-scenario. It was in the ire of this man that Zho saw the opportunity to create a Camel Spanking business, guaranteeing the correct behaviour of your otherwise unruly mount. Somehow, this didn't quite take off as planned and often brought him people dressed as camels. 'Weird.' Zho would think, wondering why someone would dress up as a camel, and how they would even go about purchasing the correct materials to make such attire. He didn't dare think that there was a professional business behind this, because that would simply be bizarre!

Shaking off these recollections and musings, Zho dramatically ripped the poster from the wall and brought it closer to his face. It read as follows:

CAN YOU CLEAN?

DO YOU LIKE MUFFINS?

THEN COME BE A CLEANER AT THE MUFFINORIUM!!!

OUR OTHER CLEANER WAS CALLED JAMO, HE DIED WENT ON HOLIDAY, VERY SAD

'I do like muffins,' Zho thought to himself, 'especially after some good jaffy.' And so with the poster messily folded, he stuffed it down his underpants (for safe keeping) and merrily swaggered through the bustling town centre towards the muffinorium. 

The End

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