“Holiness? That’s a joke I haven’t heard in a while.”

“Sorry, what should I call you?” Red asked.

“Call me Clarence. That’s not my name but I love it when people call me Clarence,” the spirit rubbed a hand down his face and chest until he was rubbing his nipple. Moon and Red looked uncomfortably back at each other.

“Well, Clarence, we were wondering if you could help us,” Moon said, turning to face the spirit and stepping forward.


“Well, some of our villagers are very hungry; all of the polar bears are leaving and dying. I was wondering if you had a solution, being that you’re as old as time.”

“I’m thirty-seven, but I’ll forgive you for that rudeness.”

“Sorry,” Moon dropped his head.

 “I’m a bit hesitant to help you. The polar bears were my friends too- yet you destructive humans took more than you deserved. This is your entire fault; you dug your own graves.”

“Please,” Red fell to his knees and pressed his forehead to the ice, “We’ll do anything.”

The spirit sighed, “A man needs to be fed. I suppose if you didn’t need to hunt my friends they might have a fighting chance at survival, despite their homes melting into the sea. I don’t know…”

“Can you help us?” Moon asked and after he spoke, the ice in front of them rose and formed into the shape of a chalice filled with diamonds. The two men gasped in awe.

 The spirit’s smile returned to his face, “With this, you’ll never need to eat again. You can have it on one condition; your cute little friend comes to visit again soon. Alone,” the creature smiled a wry smile, pointing towards Moon and rolling forwards. The throne, as if glued to his back, stood upright again. In the next second the spirit was out of sight, as if it had never been there.

“What?” Moon quivered.

“Deal,” Red said to the chair as he opened up the satchel slung over his shoulder and approached the chalice, shovelling the diamonds in.

“Wait, how are we supposed to use these things?” Moon asked, picking up one of the diamonds and examining it. “It’s just a shiny piece of ice.”

“I suppose you eat them, or perhaps they’re an enema? I would suggest putting them up your butt, because whether or not you get cured, you still win.”

Moon looked at the diamond for a moment, before squeezing his eyes shut and shoving it into his cold, dry lips. 

The End

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